Reviews for Hunter - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Hunter

Kenny's Friend 2008-01-17 ch 13,	abuseExcellent conclusion. The action was crisp and flowed easily. I think the transformation could be fleshed out a little more - I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be "seeing" - but other than that, I have no complaints. Excellent read, and excellent imagination. Keep writing - it's been a pleasure reading your stuff. "Ken" ~ Justin
diresphinx 2008-01-14 ch 1, anon.	abusebetter than some crappy novel i borrowed. do go on.
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-14 ch 12,	abuseI'll say again that I like the story's pace. You know how to gloss over things that lesser authors would drag out, and the characters are developing at just the right intervals. I'm looking forward to the ending - I'm sure you've got something great in mind. "Ken" ~ Justin
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-14 ch 11,	abuseI was a little concerned that this chapter was going to be really dragged out, but it progressed well. Seems to me that since Cheyenne has lived for so long she should know a little bit more, but I guess she just focused on killing. Nice work. Keep it up. "Ken" ~ Justin
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-10 ch 10,	abuseGood as always, although this chapter felt a little stretched out, like it could have been over quicker. The action, I mean, not your writing - ha ha. Keep it up! "Ken"
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-08 ch 9,	abuseSorry it took so long to get to this... I like the action in this chapter - gripping and vivid. The quick trek into Cade's past was done well, and I like how the flashback transitioned easily into the present action. Well done, as always. You just have to clean up some spelling and grammatical errors. Keep writing. J ~ "Ken"
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-03 ch 8,	abuseOdd request, eh? Oh, and thanks for the clarification. So far, that's the only thing that confused me. And I did pick up on the city nicknames, by the way. Very clever. There were a couple grammatical errors in this chapter, by the way, that you might want to do something about. Keep writing "Ken" ~ J
Kenny's Friend 2008-01-02 ch 7,	abuseInteresting ability she has... Given by the hunters in order to catch prey? And these "angels" have me interested, as well as her new mission. The history lesson was a little confusing when it came to relating it to the characters, but I think I got your general point. Nice as always. Keep writing. "Ken" ~ Justin
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-31 ch 6,	abuseThe beginning of this chapter was a little hard to follow, but the history revealed enough to keep it from being boring. Again, I still say her feelings towards Cade have changed a little too quickly. However, I like the progression - the story has a good pace to it. Oh, and you didn't scare me off. lol "Ken" ~ Justin
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-31 ch 5,	abuseNice, although it seems to me that she would have been happier to see Cade die. No complaints for this chapter, except some grammatical and typographical errors - it seemed like you were in a rush typing this - and you actually called Cade "Case" a few times. Also, there's no such word as "snuck" contrary to popular slang - the proper terminology is "sneaked". Keep writing. "Ken" ~ Justin
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-27 ch 4,	abuseThe timing here is great - the devolution of her resolve isn't being rushed, something that some authors have a tendency to do. They try to rush change, and you've got this one going really smooth. I can't wait to see where this goes. Keep writing! "Ken"
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-27 ch 3,	abuseThis installment was as good as the past few, but I have a few minor complaints. One is the fact that the baroom "fight" was a little too drawn out for my tastes - the conversation was essential, so that was good, but the action slowed to a crawl, and I don't think that's what you wanted. Secondly, the transitions between perspectives were hard to follow - you shifted between Cade and Cheyenne on several instances, and it was difficult to tell which person's mentality we were tapped into. Other than that, there were a few grammatical errors, but that just needs a quick cleanup. Great action as always, and I'm looking forward to see where this goes. Keep up the good work "Ken"
Malissa Michelle White 2007-12-26 ch 1,	abuseI get the impression that this was the product of flashing inspiration. As such it as a few shaky things, but a lot of really great things. For one, you're descriptions could be more effective. Maybe play on the grittiness of your piece, without being so gritty itself. And you the only gun you is a shotgun. Given that it's attached to her waist, it'd be smaller. If she were using a barretta 9mm, which is standard police issue, the hole would be considerable. And a shotgun would blow his head clean off. I think she would be using something cheap and effective, much like herself. A Barretta 9 would do the trick. I think you're a little obsessed with Gangs. You don't flesh out or emphasize her involvement or the relationship with the government effectively enough. And the language surrounding this memory of sorts is a little "here it is, there it goes". I want to have a reason to cheer for her or hate her, and i don't really have either. For the type of story this is going to be, you need a real badass type character. And at 200, i figure she'd really settle into it. She acts as if she's still 17, cursing mindlessly-artless, in a sense, and lacking finese. I really like where you're going, i like the idea of the end, and the broken moon, and i like the plot you've developed here. i really would like to see some stronger character development, and grace i know you're capable of. I sound like a teacher, but i'm giving it to you straight. feel free to hate me. and have a kick ** new year.
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-25 ch 2,	abuseI really like the universe you've created. It's very harsh and gritty. What really intrigues me is the "broken" moon - very nice touch, and the mention of a corrupt "government" really gives the story a painful bite. So humans can become lures and then hunters? This is really good stuff, and I like the main character. Her history was well-orchestrated: brief, not too much detail. Keep it up! Justin ~ "Ken" Merry Christmas!
Kenny's Friend 2007-12-23 ch 1,	abuseVery, very good. Nice start, not too confusing, few grammatical errors. Cheyenne's a hothead - great type of character for this type of story. It seems to me, though, that - depending on the caliber of the handgun - the bullet hole would be anything but "small" from that close range... I like your whole premise for writing, by the way - don't change it, and don't take any crap for it. Oh, and keep writing. God bless and Merry Christmas Justin ~ "Ken's Friend"

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