Hmm...This was a very nice start. I noticed a couple capitalization and punctuation placement errors, but maybe that's part of the style you're aiming for...? I don't know. However short, I think that you really made the conversation natural, which gave it a great flow. Nice job.

Happy writing!

-DV-

about this story:

all i can say is, very amusing and equally original.

well done, although i could have sworn it would have ended with a romance with Chase, but it doesn't matter.

that was very cute.

Different. Kind of weird. Inspiring. Disturbingly great. Gramatic: not so great. Plot: short and common. Development: good enough. Results: one of the best I have read. Congratulations, you have reach the goal of many: writing something simple, but deep and changing; sometimes, with only a sentence.

I really enjoyed Gracie- a girl who tells it like it is, and yet somehow sounds inadvertantly funny, like one of those people who just says things in a funny way without meaning to.

However, it is really annoying that your author's notes are longer than your chapters. Not gonna lie, no one really cares about why your chapters weren't up on Wednesday night, or whatever (I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is true). I think your short chapters would have a much more dramatic impression if you just had the chapters and not any side notes or anything.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this story and your way of writing. Kudos!

gah what'd he do that was soo bad?

m guess i'll never know

good ending tho i like that she's her own person now

aww poor chase getting kicked off the basketball team (

damn what'd he do to deserve that beating?

haha wow "no comment" yea she liked it

wowgotalittleconfused towards the end she was talking about james right?

wow.

i like this.

i like stories like these, with few details other than the important ones.

it reminds me of my own similar story, but, at the same time, not really, haha. mine is more of what the narrator remembers vividly rather than the what-would-be important details. make sense? i dunno.

either way, i like this.

gracie's narration is really unique. i like it.

i love what the judge would have said. it made me laugh. but then chase getting kicked off the basketball team made me sad. i like the reoccurring curly fries and milkshakes 'theme'.

i really dig this chapter. it's my favorite so far. i love how the last line could totally come off as snarky, but doesn't at all.

One thing I liked was the story so far. It's so believable because that always happens in high school: people always blow thing out of porportion just to make it seem interesting and gossip worthy. It was a little humorous really. I don't like the fact that the chapters or 'parts' are really short. That's just me though.

So, in the end, the status quo is somewhat restored. (That is, assuming, that the status quo was normalcy. I don't know how they were before all of this.)

Okay, so let's review. We had paramedics, we have a basketball game, we had a kiss, we had soda, we had a couple punches in the face, and none of it was in any particular understandable order. I think that just about covers it.

This one had some high points and some low points. I was greatly dissatisfied that you put yourself down and said that you didn't like some of the installments. I felt that they all played a great important part in the grand scheme of the storyline. They were all great and useful.

It;'s too bad that this where we leave Gracie, James, and Chase. I've grown to know them as friends. You know, the own who you think are mildly retarded and should probably not be let out of their house without a helmet. (That one mostly designated James for obvious reasons.)

Overall, a very successful story. A job well done here, but I'm sure you knew that already.