Me thinks this story surpasses my love for Infused Magic. I love that one, but this, the different tenses and backstory, much more interesting to me. I lovol it~ Write,write,write~

~Articous

Ooh! I really liked this and i like the first person present that you put the story in. It was really descriptive and really cool. Good job!

interesting premise! got to love the character of a thief, right? your MC seems awesome so far :)

Stumbled across this while exploring FictionPress and I really enjoyed reading it. There's a depth and complexity to the plot that drew me in. I want to know all of Kelch's story. What lead him to his captive fate? I also like your writing style, the overall flow is great.

~Divine Macabre

...Aww... *wants to hug Kelch* His cousin... I have choice words for a woman who would take advantage of a child's innocence like that.

:) CD

Interesting, very interesting...I'll try to keep reading this, but hey, I have a lot of crap to do, so no promises. I like how he's telling his life story instead of having it go by.

Again, I love how you put your sentences together. The way you can accurately describe Kelch's thoughts and emotions with so little words is very interesting to me. I love this so far. Write more soon.

:)

Oh, wow. I must unfortuantly say that I was rather reluctant to read it because it was, semmingly, based solely on DnD and I didn't care to read about it. Nor am I into such fantasy, normally...but I love your syntax. It's amazing, keeps you focused. I love this beginning, and I go on to read the second chapter. No words of help because I saw no errors, though I am not an expert exactly in grammar as I'm sure you have noticed unfortuantly.

Fucking awesome. This is now canon to my campaign. Don't give the blade or its origins anymore history. I have an idea for it. Also, you have the potential to be an assassin now.

On another note, Ka'na is now aligned to evil unless you continue the story somehow and she finds some way to repent or change her ways to be more neutral or good.

Love it a lot more than Ch. 1, and even stand-along it's fucking great. Keep it up. Btw, 200+ exp. Yes, go ahead and add it to your character sheet :). I'm impressed.

Very interesting second chapter.

Ka'na seems like a very mean lady.

Well, I like seeing characters like Kelch, the ones who do bad things, without knowing they're bad, then later realizing it. Then feeling horrible about it.

Kelch's character seems to be beginning to develop a bit more here.

I look forward to reading more

Well, interesting first chapter. Kelch seems a lot more outgoing than in dragonblade...different Kelch perhaps?

The Draiken seems interesting, odd accent though.

Poor Kelch, five lashings a day, plus not being able to move, that sucks, a lot.

Anyways, great first chapter, I look forward to reading more.

i actually liked this a lot...some would say the one word sentences don't make it flow well, but the way you have put this chapter together make it very interesting to read...you also have a good ability to describe things in few words..something i have never accomplished...lol...anyway..overall it seems like the beginning of a very good story with a good plot and i would love to see where it goes!

~E~

I like this. It's a good start into the tale.

:) CD