Reviews for Change - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Change

daughterofmusic 2008-01-21 ch 1,	abuseI definitely see your point... and yet, without change would there be growth? Hmm... ~Music
girl-behind-the-book 2008-01-03 ch 1,	abuseok, so first off...my greatest gratitude towards you for commenting on my poems. secondly, I was looking at the comments for this poem, and I noticed someone said "cliche"?? Well I would have to disagree. I actually was noticing that you took something that can be conveyed as cliche (pain of a long distance relationship) and you turned it into your own. I love it when an author can take a cliche and make it into their own. that takes talent. And I think you have what it takes to go far with your writing. The shortness was a breath of fresh air. I myself tend to write longer poems, and I've read longer poems. And so reading something that is short, sweet, and to the point? well it's refreshing. the only thing I noticed-the only piece of criticism worth bringing up-is in your third stanza, first line...it's longer than the first two stanza's first lines. Now, that's being WAY finicky here, but hey, I wanted to help out in some way. I think it's just fine as it is, but if you wanna really go over the top, change it up a bit...make it flow better. I actually thought that on the last stanza, you could switch lines one and two. if that makes sense. so it'd look like this... "Don’t want to lose it all That feeling of security and love" I think that matches the flow a bit more. But hey, just my thoughts. but seriously, I'm in love with this poem, and it's most definetely going on my favorite list. Thanks for a brillaint read. And hey, keep on writing!! Girl behind the book/Kris
VegasGoddess 2007-12-28 ch 1,	abuseIt seems to me that this is about a lost friendship, or relationship, and wow, Jazzy, is it really good! Very hear-wrenching, and I thought it was very good. Makes me want to cry, for the love and friendship lost, it's that good! I think I'm gonna add it to faves! =) ♥~~Grissom's Sweetheart♥
Audy 2007-12-27 ch 1,	abuseOne word for you: Cliche When dealing with cliched themes, one must think out of the box. If you use some poetry elements such as metaphors and imagery and apply it to the poem then your work becomes more original, more refreshing, and ...better. Or /at least/ write about long-distance relationships from a different perspective! Something... Other than that, there is very nice rhythm and flow in this. You did a good job describing some feelings and I appreciate the shortness in this. The last line was powerful too, so good. One thing I noticed: "...Far (a)way and out of touch.." Might wanna fix that little error there. But good job, you're really good at stringing words together to evoke emotion --and that takes talent. ~ Audy

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