FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Detox 2007-12-29 ch 2,  | abusePretty interesting, flows into action rather quickly. There's not really enough substance there yet to feel for the main character. As for the italics symbolizing thought...I'd only have one character who had visible thoughts, otherwise it's like you're throwing too much into it where the read can't get close to a specific character...Or just keep it to a minimum. But other than that, nicely done. |