|Reviews for Thread of a Different Sort|
| SaintZero182 4/1/08 . chapter 5
So far,so good..
| Cylara 3/5/08 . chapter 31
I love this story! Thank you for sharing. :)
| Written 2/25/08 . chapter 1
hmm. :) I like it so far, definitely. I don't have time to give an in depth review just yet, but after my exams are done, I'll come back and talk more.
as of right now, I'll just say that it seems like you're pretty serious about the writing thing, which is good! I think your grammar and style is great at first blush, though it could always use more polishing, but the important thing is to finish up the story and then edit, edit, edit. a few parts of the writing seemed a little sparse, but overall, it was well done. the line about the cat not dying from consumption really made me laugh!
take care! keep writing.
| soccer diva 2/11/08 . chapter 56
Not a bad group of chapters, but slow down! Talk about chapter overload! It would be much easier for readers if you only did one chapter at a time, waiting at least a few days between updates. I can't really tell you any specifics since I read all the chapters at once. All I have to say is that I'm confused, and hope that I'll understand what's going on soon :) Confused in a good way though, like a mystery novel.
| Random Guy 2/10/08 . chapter 3
Also, if you are in any way offened by my previous review (which, ironically, will probably be the one read after this one owing the the strange way these reviews are submitted) feel free to disregard it in any fashionable way.
| Random Guy 2/10/08 . chapter 2
its a good story.
just relax, listen to your feelings, and write what you feel.
don't be afraid to change what you think can be improved, even if it means resubmitting the story.
most importantly, when thinking about what to write, if'n you think its a good idea with a future in your story, have the perserverance to write it in.
just relax, go with the flow.
it'll be all right.
| Keja Toshiro 2/6/08 . chapter 21
| soccer diva 1/31/08 . chapter 45
Ok, the action was absolutely awesome in these past three chapters, the dialogue, not so much. What dude says 'dear?' It just sounds so strange. And all of the sudden, Simon is talking funny. Everything he says is grammatically correct, formal, and unrealistic feel to it."Can I know the name of my captor?" and “How very like you, Freya,” and “A hostage for what. I do hope you know that I am no longer recognized as Lord Webster’s son—he has disowned me—and my parents are away in Ancient Europe at the moment." who would have that kind of tone when they are being held hostage? Certainly not the Simon that you've built up so far! The formality, the absolutely perfect grammar, it gives his voice no personality, no emotion. People each talk differently, and while that kind of writing is fine for the narrator, dialogue has to have some depth to it. It can't be perfect, because then you don't have a character anymore, you have a barbie doll: perfect, dull, and just like every other barbie doll in millions of stores.
| Mercyette 1/29/08 . chapter 1
You have a really interesting start here. I like it! Conner and Jamison have very distinct personalities, and I can see why each have thier own arguments for sending/not sending Conner's son off to school (though I think the father is in it more for his personal image). I like all the dialouge; it helps to establish their personalities. The only thing I might suggest is that you put a little more discription to the setting and the characters appearance. I really didn't understand that they were out eating until you stated to describe them eating salads. Anyway, other than that you really managed to drag the reader in. Kudos!
| soccer diva 1/28/08 . chapter 42
This is probably the best ending to a chapter yet. Nice cliffhanger. I did think it a little bit strange that the old lady actually gave them directions. Perhaps they were the wrong ones? That would make more sense, considering how you described the place. But now I'm curious...that means you did a pretty good job. Curiousity keeps the story going. Peace and love, and keep writing!
| soccer diva 1/24/08 . chapter 40
Good chapter. I'm really wondering what happens now! Your dialogue is very good, realistic and showing personality. My only thing is that your writing always has the same...hmm..tone, I guess. Even though certain scenes are more urgent, some are more leisurely, they all have the same calm, smooth quality. The words themselves aren't bad, just that the feel of them doesn't change with the situation. A little more variation, I think, would really improve the story. Well, that's just my opinion. Peace and love!
| soccer diva 1/23/08 . chapter 39
(sorry, I was too lazy to log in)
Not bad, not bad at all. My only hope is that all these new questions will soon be answered! They're driving me crazy!
Hope the next chapter comes up soon, and again, I mention the whole distinction by italics or some such thing for the letters from Freya. Peace and love!
| Unbeknownst 1/21/08 . chapter 39
Interesting concept; I really quite enjoyed reading it. A few suggestions, though:
-Your formatting toward the end of chapter 36 is slightly off, making it hard to tell what exactly is happening.
-Most of your chapters are littered with typos-it's easy to tell what you're trying to say, but it's still distracting.
-Some of your phrasing is awkward-you use slang in some places, whereas in the story as a whole you really don't, and it's quite jarring.
-Your main character's father's name seems to change-in the first chapter, he is called "Conner," and in the final few chapters he is referred to as "Conrad."
-Some of your plot points (especially re: Freya) are somewhat unbelievable. The story as a whole (especially how Simon comes into his magical ability) is great-it's just that Freya herself doesn't seem that well developed as a character, and reading as she described her family was somewhat awkward. I'd probably try to make it clearer what her goals are (without giving too much away), and explain her lapses in character (liking Simon, then hating him, then liking him again) more thoroughly. As it is, she seems very rough, and it's hard to follow what her actions are supposed to accomplish.
As stated, overall I really enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what you'll do with it. For a first (or second, or third) draft, it's really good.
| soccer diva 1/20/08 . chapter 37
That was a very strange chapter...I suppose I'll just have to wait to find out exactly what the prophecies and the letters mean, becuase I really don't have a clue. Quick suggestion: When you switch to the letter (like the words on the letter) put them in italics, or you could put a line if you wanted. When you upload the story onto fictionpress, all lines and divisions dissapear, so before you upload the chapter to the rest of your story, edit it and make sure you have the proper divisions. But I really like the suspense and mystery(a type of action!) in this chapter. It was very interesting, and makes me want to continue reading so that I know what those letters are about!
| soccer diva 1/19/08 . chapter 36
That was a lot of information in a few chapters... a little too much. There wasn't enough action to go with it, in my opinion, so it got a little bit boring...
also, I was a bit confused in this chapter near the end, with the italics. At first the italics were the recording description, but then you switched to where the italics were Simon and Jamison. It was confusing. Even though the chapters were a little slow, there was still good information in them, and that'll help tie everything together later, I think.