No, no, no, it's ok--you really need to read up on how to "snag" your readers--to jerk their chains; as it were. Read, Spunk and Bite, and then try again. Ideas don't sparkle unless your reaching for space far past that of other writers--don't just let it slip past you teeth like spit, REALLY speak. Force them to hear you--even me.

This has so much power in it. I'm sorry that you feel this way. If it's any constellation I really like your poetry. *shrug* I know that doesn't help much but it was my attempt. I just wanted to let you know that your title reads "drowing" not "drowning". I like how you say it's lukewarm water and the last two lines are especially amazing.