FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Charity F 2008-02-13 ch 1,  | abuseEloquent, as always. =) But i felt that you needed one more line, to finish the poem. Something that conveys completeness. I think that's because i thought you were exploring another idea with the "fingertips; tracing those lines; that mark the present" and therefore felt a bit lacking when you just finished. |
| Unknown Survivor 2008-01-11 ch 1, | abuseNicely done. I like the concept. Keep up the good work. ~Unknown Survivor~ |
| perpetual questions 2008-01-06 ch 1, | abuseI really like this, the wording is beautiful and it's very powerful. Great job. |
| The Postscript 2007-12-30 ch 1, | abuseI think in a poem, being careful about diction is essential to creating the proper mood of a poem ... and as I was reading this, I just felt that yes, your language was a little softer than usual, but not parallel to silent. I still felt this little bustle in your word choice. I guess I would have liked to more see the diction create this stillness ... this peace. As it is, though, this piece is wonderfully written. Great job with the imagery. You really know how pick and utililze effective verbs that give an extravagance and almost abstract quality to an everyday motion or action. Keep writing, k. |
| simpleplan13 2007-12-30 ch 1, | abusebeautiful piece.. it flows nicely and I really love the stanzas about the past and the future.. awesome job |
| Aquafied 2007-12-30 ch 1, | abusethe here and now could be overrated |
| Princess-anna57 2007-12-30 ch 1, | abuseSimple yet effective. Very nice. :) Keep writing! ~Anna~ ^_^ |