"Do you read their fates, little one?" Ah, first, I love the term of endearment, and second, I love the hint here that the child has a 'gift' and is able to read the stars as her mother can. Lovely celestial allusions as well.

this is a good poem, so good that I have utterly no quibbles! great job!

Live forever, or die trying!

An interesting song. Do you have a tune for it? I like how it dipicts a mother showing her child the pictures and stories of the sky, and I like how you inserted a little family history, with the mother speaking of the warrior her husband is or was. However, I am not a big fan of poems/songs that don't have a rhym or sylable pattern. The first and last stanzas seem a little choppy and the words don't seem to flow well. The middle one is a little better, though the second to last line seems a little out of place. It just might be me, as I have said I prefer rythm and rhyme, and I DO like what the words say, maybe I would like it more if I knew the tune.

Keep on writing, and thanks for your review.

God Bless you.

LittleDoe

that is a fabulous poem! i can relate in way to the "all for you" thing. i really, really like it. it astounds me

Extremely well written. A touching piece.

this is so sweet (not in a patronising way but becaus it's just so...beautiful) the repitition works well.

Very well-written, her mom is talking about the fates of her father and the other warriors, and it's pretty the way you describe them and their destiny, like they were stars. Oh and the sentence: "All for you, little one" was very well choosen.

I have to read your other works :D

The phrase 'little one' is one of my favorites. The fact that in this piece, his mother is speaking of his father makes it more special to me.

I think in the last part, you could put another to make them all 4 lines and it would flow better.

-J.A.

Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile).

Lovely. The imagery is so sharp and beautiful. Great job writing this piece. Very well done.

aw, that's cute. i really like it. unique and pretty. like out of a storybook. well-written. good work. keep writing. )