Returning for chapter 2:
1. you put your instead of you're here: “Your 17 years old,
2. you put your instead of you here: sent you with me to hide your from the Spider King.”
3. Once again, you put periods instead of commas before the quotation marks. I know this might happen in every chapter, but you still should fix it.
4. If she said both of these things, why is it started at a new paragraph?:
“Hurry where?” she asked.

“I can't just get up and leave.” said Aurora.

Unless of course, Lily said the first thing.
If not, I'd write it:
“Hurry where?” she asked.“I can't just get up and leave.”
5. Did you mean to put a question mark instead of a period here?: “We are just supposed to trust some strange man we have never met.”
6. Shouldn't some how be a whole word here?: Some how even though he was a complete stranger, his presence made her feel strangely safe.
7. There should either be a comma or a period between William and he here: Aurora looked up at William he gave a faint smile.

Also, I do hope you get this published someday. :D Well, now you have reviews 1 and 2. I hope you will update it soon.

WOW. Okay, you're kidding me right? No reviews? I'll change that. I've seen you before. You're CSIBeauty from FFN right? If so, I LOVED iHad a change of heart. That was FANTASTIC. I haven't reviewed it yet, because I am focused on another iCarly story (it's about 31 chapters, I'm on chapter 3) right now. I promise I'll find sometime for it though. Have I seen this somewhere before? Hmm... I'll have to think about that. Anyway though, critiques for chapter 1:
1. You wrote new instead of knew here: but she new she could not hold on much longer.
2. Did you mean to put a question mark instead of a period here?: How did you get yourself into this, Aurora.
3. I don't think there should be a comma here: Mark, and Lily.
4. There should be a comma instead of a period here: “That sounds like a plan.” said Aurora.
5. Same with all the other things people say, it should be a comma before the quotation marks, not a period.
6. Starring should be staring. It's really hard to remember but two rs means starring in a movie, and one means to stare. Here: Mark asked noticing her starring at a nearby man. & Here: “That man keeps starring at us.” she said.
7. Speaking of that sentence, I really think there should be a comma here: Mark asked, noticing her starring at a nearby man.

It's good so far. :D I hope to find time to match up everything. Anyway, keep writing!