First off, mistake: "“No.” She quickly replied" There should be a comma after "no" and the "s" of "she" should be lowercased. Also, some of the "dat" and "ya"s came off as a bit... awkward and less stylistic. I'd replace "f*ckin'" with "fackin'", as it would fit the accent better. Also, in the first two lines, you use the word "hung" twice. Once something "hung" and in the other "she hung back". A synonym would keep it from getting stale/repetitive. Also, "his" opening statement is fairly unrealistic. Just a thought.

In the way of content, this is an interesting piece. Curious, certainly, but not very complete. I kept looking for the continuation or such. It could use a little bit of work (with what was previously mentioned), but it's pretty good. Nice job.