Its a neat poem. I think it is going to be difficult for some people to comprehend because of how unrealistic the situation itself is, not a lot of relations to the drop-dead-in-12-hours idea. Rhyming is pretty good, as far as how it goes as an impact poem, I think the end had something to it but the title, the summary, the entire poem was all about the girl having a small period of time to live so it wasn't anything totally riveting. Good effort anyway.

Tragic... but great choice of words to lead onto sweet rhymes... keep at it