Really. The dots need to go. They make it seem so childish, like you're overacting. "And finally..." dun dun dun dun the magician whips his cape around his face, "The consumption." the lights flick on him and he throws his head back in drama. ... come now, that's unnecessary.

I like these lines. A LOT: "And that is the most dangerous journey of all / the seduction into our own darkness." I think I just really like the way you worded that ... seduction into our own darkness. It conjures up a lot of good images and brings the idea to life.

The way you talk about everything in this poem in such unartful, calculated, dry terms lends to its absolutely creepiness. That it really is inevitable. It's facts and science and you can't escape. It's the truth. That is what makes this poem good, with the creepy blatant speech.

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in my profile)

I just remembered that I put this on my desktop to review (and then forgot all about it, woops)- -

Not sure whether to laugh [read: cackle insanely] at your ebilness or not. But I like it :B

'And that is the most dangerous journey of all:

the seduction into our own darkness.

The temptation.

The taste.

The descent.

And finally…the consumption.'

I like those lines :)

Thanks for the read :D,

-Iris

Truth is relative.