the plot and ** is rilly flyy but yo nigga yo writin needs lotsa help. U switch VERY quickly between actions when you describe stuff. this makes u lose interest after only the first cuple lines cuz its like reading random sentences. try to describe more stuff and ask others for help on ur writing style. after the first cupple of lines i already knew how ur story was gonna go.

Oh and try not to make the nigga jody seem so damn stereotypical wit da dickies nd **. i know u trynna make him seem real, but give him some breathin room to have his own gangsta style. too many folk think tht u gangsta if u wear baggy clothes nd **. keep writin tho and just work on ur style cuz as of now u really aint got one.

Stay positive and dont stop writin. Peace bruh, ill chekk soon to see if u improve. oh and how old r u? im only 15. from ur style, u sound like thirteen years old. oh and i live in Georgia too. where u go to skool? I go to lame ** brookwood.