wow, that was a lot to take, very discriptive and full of vivid images, this cant be disected in one read though, so I'll have to get back to it, beautiful none the less though =)

Wow. . .that was very beautifully written. The imagery was wonderful. You're a very talented writer.

DIDE OMG! ok this is my favorite thing u've ever written, it's awsome!The first paragraph is my favorite memory ever, it's when we turned into BEST friends.
It's also really sad though, very painful emotions and a Monday i never want to go through again. That prayer was so sad.
I love how it began and ended with the same memory. Nice touch.

we are so going to college together, despite father-dearest.

That's really depressing, but it's beautiful. I love how you describe the misery so clearly. It's great.

The story line behind this is good, But your sty le of writting is very poetic and it's TOO poetic for a story and it may confuse people. (it took me a few reads to comprehend a few parts) Your writting style is different and creative but try taking it down a notch with the poetry. otherwise good work.