Wow, you're an amazing author. Great job! :)

Is it odd that Taren kind of reminds me of me this afternoon? "BAH, HURRY UP, AAH,WE'RE GONNA GET HIT BY A CAR!"

For the record, I'm not in trouble XD. Mom says she wouldn't apporve of me doing it by myself (heck, I wouldn't either, i have no sense of direction and am overly paranoid) but in a group it's fine. I always panic even tho my mother's a reasonable person *shrugs*.

Anywho, this was cute! Although I sympethis more with Taren than I probably should- I never learned to ride a bike :)

Ooer! Well done, this was really good. I loved the kind of sense of alarm you set up at the start, when I was reading it I was like, "Gah! Leave him alone!" Hehe.

Impeccable dialogue here. The reader truly understands Taren's fear, which is punctuated by his older brother's harshness. However, you do not demonize Deror completely, for he saves his little brother every time despite his anger. All I would consider is possibly brainstorming other phrases aside from "let your wings out," which seemed fairly repetitive. Also, I was glad that Taren didn't succeed because it's a hell of a lot more realistic.

Wow! This was a great story! I love the detail! even tho it's short you really get across their personalities and a sense of their relationship! I'd love to se more of this story... :)

*~Lady Ilaine~*

I REMEMBER YOU TOO BELOVED READER, even if I'm not writing as much it's good to hear that some of you guys still care for if and when I get the inspiration. Lol, I'm gonna switch fictionpress over to my new email so I can get up dates there XD so i can start reading your stories. I'm more likely to read yours anyways, i don't have to catch up too much on anything XD.

Anyways great short story, i love bird people. -.- i don't think enough people write about the tribulations of the childhoods they have in learning how to fly. You did a good job in that ^^.

Laterz,
Cathryn Black~

cool stuff, as always :) i like deror, he kicks butt.

A beautiful and magical story!

I love the idea you created here - of bird people having to take their first flight. =) I know I'm just rambling here, but I wanted to let you know how much your story appeals to me. This is exactly the type of book/story that would draw me in.

I like the personalities of the two brothers. I feel very sorry for poor Taren, but I like how his brother is showing him 'tough love' by not giving up on him.

The last sentence left me wanting to hug Taren and hanging for more.

A definite favorite. =)

Okay, you got my attention. Are you sure you want to keep this a one-shot?