Reviews for Metamorphosis - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Metamorphosis

oooo ahhh 2008-05-29 ch 1, anon.	abuseIs there something in that chocolate I should know about? Hm? Actually that was a real example. I'm not that pathetic. I just randomly clicked on a story that had reviews and that was the first line of the second chapter. As the first was in the POV of a female. I'm not on holidays now. I graduated. It's not that fun. I hate it. It's boring. We take finals in our retarded schools. They think it prepares us for college when in all actuality it doesn't. Not at all. I took two college classes already. They were pointless and as easy as high school. I took Yoga and Sociology. So instead of making Irwin a butch like you wish she was so you could fantasize over her, I might make her a yoga hippie or something. But really, what's in your chocolate? You should hope you don't turn into a crackhead. Or maybe, it's laced with LSD and you're actually tripping while you wrote that. I can see you being stupid enough to do that. Yep. Oh, I know what happened. A man with a big white van came up to you and was all 'Would you like some candy little girl?' And you being the fruitcake you are was all 'Sure, can I have the chocolate?'. Then you stole it! Because he'd only give you it after he raped/molested you. Lmao. Look at this summary: Corey Feldman and Corey Haim are Pure-bred Vampires looking for a mate to share. When they save a girl named Stephanie, they decide she is just the mate they've been looking for. Rating might go up in later chapters. Constructive criticism is fine. Anyway. I'm going to go do something. Maybe eat breakfast at 11:30. Or maybe not. I'm just that unpredictable. Haha. Seeya
Sooper Dooper In The Pooper 2008-01-20 ch 1, anon.	abuseI'm a robot, eh? Actually, I took down that story coz I didn't have my 1,0 words for Kitty's story to submit for the ficathon, so I submitted that. Haha. M, so I've finally figured out how many chapters Kitty's story is going to be. Each chapter is going to be named after the types of girl scout cookies, and seeing as only eleven types exist, that's how many chapters I'm not going to bother to write. Great plan, yes? Yeah, I know, people are pretty pathetic on Fictionpress. Like, I love it when they write about when people go to the parties and get drunk. And then, when they're still drunk, in efforts to sober them up, they give them fucking water. LMAO. Yeah, cept they never ever puke after that. They just feel fine and fucking dandy with water. Dumb whores. And the kiss thing is kinda sad too. They're living vicariously through fictionpress. I'm a little bit of a review whore, but not so much anymore. I just don't give a damn. I mean, just go read one of those stories that has 1500 reviews and shitty grammar. I don't need reviews to know I'm better than that. lol. So, I have the urge to create a new Fictionpress account and just start all over. I have no idea why, but that's what I was thinking of doing yesterday. So I took an old account that died off like years ago and changed the name to Captain Amazing. I was that bored. As to your story... The thing I like about Sadie's POV is how you wrote it. Everything she thinks/says is a bit detached. The beginning is good as I've told you before, but the ending annoys me a bit with Vihn and that wierd neonazi or whatever he is. It's almost just completely random, and as soon as it happens, I lose track of what I'm reading. Actually, I'm probably just stupid like that. So, did you pull her last name out of your ass? Xureb? Oh, oh, oh! I know what she has! Haha. Only because you had to tell me. That's about all I can think of. I'm going back to me. Get over it. On Kitty's story, I have no idea how I want to start it again. I was thinking of having her work in a Chinese grocery mart, and then flip out on a customer who was buying girl scout cookies. And then she freaks out on the whole store saying the girl scouts are out to take over the world and even the Chinese aren't safe. Or something to that extent. Then she confronts her boss about his stocking of the cookies and he goes on about a profitable deal he made with them to sell their surplus. Then tells her to get back to work and stop scaring the customers. Oh, and I was thinking she needed a friend because even cat ladies need a friend. I think she's going to be named Mieze Eichel. Anyway. I need to get back to doing nothing. Ciao.
Nefertiry 2008-01-09 ch 2,	abuseI loved chapter two. The whole point of view is very... Vinh. The Nguyen name sealed the deal (my friend has that name lol.) You show just enough information and didn't overwhelm with a million characters as part of his social delinquent circle... and you didn't get too intimate but at the same time it was warm enough to want me to keep learning more about him. I caught on to a few things... especially the "--but it’s not as if I can afford a suit."
Kali Shaelyn 2008-01-08 ch 1,	abuseThat was a really good chapter and I love the way you adapted a certain narrative style for Sadie. At first I thought I knew what she had but after seeing a few more of her symptoms... I'm not so sure... well! I guess I'll see in future chapters! So, judging from the drought comments and the description about Rolando... I'm guessing that this is story based in Australia? Just wondering if it's in the rural or urban area. Lol. Anyway, just a lil curiosity that will probably be answered soon. Vinh is an interesting boy who seems to hold the typical stereotype of the "delinquent Asian". Makes you wonder how he'll develop over future chapters. In general, I'm enjoying this story so well done!
Nefertiry 2008-01-08 ch 1,	abuseMost interesting plot. Hook first chapter and you got me asking for more. I have an idea of what she has-- but-- I rather not dwell on that and be surprised. Coming from her POV I didn't except detail on time, or place-- but for what I expected of a patient you did well. You describe and portray clearly-- showing a sense of strangeness that allows us to see it for her "not so perfect state of mind." I look forward to more.

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