Ellipses are not your friend. They are the enemy. That is the first lesson about poetry. They are the enemy because they are overused and irritating. They do nothing for your poem.

Besides ellipses, this is kind of blah. No imagery, few verbs and a bunch of abstract statements. Concrete this down with specifics and it'd be a lot better. Otherwise it's not really doing much at the moment.

Good luck with an edit.

Midnight