Started off humorous, and continued with amusement that turned grimmer and grimmer throughout the entire piece. I thought it was brilliant.

wow. I love your use of the second person. I think it's the most interesting POV to write with because there are so many approaches to take with it, and yeah, it just really works here.

I also LOVE your descriptions here, specifically of betsy's face and the mouthwash. awesome writing.

very frank, honest piece. I enjoyed reading!

P.S. please don't feel obliged to return review for review! I only have a few pieces up and most are unpolished crap right now, so I wouldn't mind being ignored, to be honest. I'll be back to read more of your work after I've had some sleep :) bye.

this is great, i imagine venus so beautifully sketched.

OK, one more story, one more review before I go to bed. :)

A definite change in tone and style from the other two of yours I've read, and well done. Some great oner liners, among the ones that stand out are "face like a smacked arse" and "words spoken like the righteous starlet of a big screen movie." Very different, very apt to description.

I also really enjoyed the way you kept bringing up Betsy. I understand why you'd bring up Venus over and over again, the paragon of women in his mind, but Betsy was more subtle. Perhaps subtle regret that he doesn't want to admit to?

A very honest writing style, no tricks up your sleeve.

Great work!
I'm sure you'll hear from me soon --
Emily

This is brilliant. The paragraph starting with "You tried it with a man once." actually made me laugh aloud. Now that doesn't happen very often on Fictionpress (well... not for the right reasons, at least).

Absinthe always did remind me of mouthwash, oddly enough.

I really like this. I'm actually really fond of anything written in the second person, and so yeah, that just drew me in. And I especially like the lines where it's like "how do you look at yourself in the morning?" and the explanation is just, look. Excellent job.

Those were the best opening lines I have ever read. The first paragraph was amazing, it was what made me read to the end. I liked the way that you explained a journey and a change, rather than the average: "This happened and everything went back to normal."