I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Not only did you ease some of my own insecurities but you also inspired me to journey forward on this website.
Thank you for a good read and putting a smile on my face.

Haha lol, this rings so true without being really mean about it. We should totally have a fictionpress military style bootcamp. I can imagine some kind of sergeant marching down rows of new recruits shouting "ALRIGHT YOU QUIVERING MAGGOTS! YOU ARE HERE FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY, YOU ARE NOT A PUBLISHED AUTHOR! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER SAYS! I WANT ONE REALISTIC CHARACTER PROFILE FROM EACH OF YOU WITHIN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" and such. What do you think?

Somehow this made me laugh, though I wonder why it's catogorized as tragedy...

These were well-said points, I agree with basically all of them. But why is this a Tragedy? Haha...

I for one, loves to look at the dictionary! Probably because I could hardly read english in the first place. Hehe. But, everything you mentioned here have a point. I love the last most! Btw, I am not here in fictionpress to write, I am just looking for a free read and repaying the hardworking author with a simple review to maybe somewhat encourage them after all its the least I can do, and I have not much knowledge with grammar and all so I know I am probably not helping much with reviewing this, but I honestly enjoyed what you wrote immensely so please write some more.

This was amazingly helpful! :D And I totally agree with you about the "where randomness ensues" thing most people seem to love putting in their summaries... to me it just screams "um there's no actual plot here". :) thanks for writing this up, I'll definitely be coming back to read this again sometime.

You should add a section that involves what makes a good review or something, because I receive a lot of people who think something like this:

I skipped ahead and I'm glad I did, because the ending sucked and I'd have hated to waste my time reading the rest for such an abrupt, truncated finale. Seriously, if you can take the time and patience to write the rest of the story, don't kill it with such a rushed ending. It was a really botched,cliche finish.

is constructive. In fact, she defended it continuously, and as you said, there are many younger writers out there, and if I was one of those, perhaps she would have ruined my entire writing career that hasn't happened yet. I understand the point of an honest review, but I also understand the point of softening the blow. Making a harsh review and not knowing what is on the other end, perhaps it's a depressed teenager who thinks their life is going to be a writer and your review is what makes them commit suicide? You never know these things, so I think it is a great point that this is an ONLINE website and you never know who is on the other line sending stuff to you, and you never know what effect it going to have on them.

Otherwise Narc, you did a wonderful job, which I expected no less of you. :P Keep up the good work .

Drips.

Ah, yes. I must agree.

I absolutely hate some published writers though. I hate the ones that use that in their summaries to get more reviews. Usually, they aren't that good. It's all formula fiction.

And of course almost no reviewers are actually truthful or helpful in any way. They're just fangirls giving off one worded to a couple of sentences in their reviews.

Great essay! I thought you wrote with incredible insight and I agree heartily with all you said. The rules I especially liked were on the topic of cliches because you gave a unique, fresh perspective on the subject.

I also enjoyed the comment about people saying they have been published. The thing that makes me laugh the most about these people is not their obvious delusion but the feigned subtlety with which they slip the subject into conversation as casually as possible.

Like I said before, great essay. I really enjoyed it.

No idea what RG/RM people are (says they shouldn't review?)but most of this is so true, it's barely even funny. Wish I'd found this back when I started on fictionpress.

I signed up for Fictionpress just yesterday, so I'm still learning the ropes of navigating the site and its general dynamics and feel, if that makes any sense. I've glanced at a few forums and stories, but this is the first thing that I've fully read through, and from your little piece here I can tell now that there are at least some good writers and reviewers on this site :P

Just about everything you said in this mini-essay made a good point, and I agree with most of it, I'm making sure to take it all into consideration, though I've ehard plenty of it before in different words. But what I really like is that you state that these laws aren't facts, and that there aren't any absolute rules. It's very good but difficult at times to take things with a grain of salt, but it seems like you know what you're doing when it comes to that, and I try to regulate myself in that area as well ;)

I think it's quite obvious that I enjoyed and benefited from reading this-you really gave me a good sense of what Fictionpress is about, thank you!

"Also, fictionpress attracts a lot of teenage girls. Therefore, stories with romance, high-school girls, and fantasy are bound to have more readers. If it's slash? Congratulations, you automatically wrote a fictionpress bestseller."

...I know this to be very true (x

Hehe, most of this was very true and had me laughing all the way through !

I agree with about 99.9% of what you're saying here. I think it's good that someone took the time to sit down and write things that would make fiction press a better site. I wish every author obeyed these rules, and congratulate you for pointing them out so accurately. It's rare that you come across a writer so astute and perceptive. Kudos to you.

I think this essay is really good. To the point with plenty of humor- and peppering writing with "funnies" is often a really good way to learn. I didn't agree with everything, but there's nothing wrong with that.

All in all, I thought this was funny and really informative.

P.S. "Obscure words do not make for good writing, nor do they make you sound smart."

I totally disagree. I love panting over a dictionary whenever I come across a new word while reading. Yeah. Even during an action scene.