i liked it!
update soon
=D

Honestly, I only started reading because of the comments. lol. once i got past the epilepsy part, i actually kinda got into the story. grammar needs some work tho, even in the edits you have cases of spasmodic punctuation.

nj

it's ok, needs editing, quite a bit of editing but the plot line is kinda cooland a real shocker on the death of the parents and adoption, but it's dulled down by the fact that we don't get a big connection with the parents, if you re-edit then you could maybe put in some memories or mention them a bit more so when they die there's a bit more of a gap, if you want some help in that i can help (if you want) i've been through that soo... yeah, but i like the plot.
can you read mine and give me your opinion? thanks anyway and keep writing!

Ok, I'm all for weird names, but seriously Epilepsy? If you thought it was funny, and quirky to use a severe medical disorder as a name for one of your story characters, I'm sorry, but you were wrong.

I'm sure if you clean up the grammar, change a few of the characters names, and edit their personalities some, it will be highly original. Just do some work on it, kay?

cleo sounds cool, it's not too cliché either, i mean it's an unusual idea but the jelous bit isn't so unusual, it's still good and we still don't know what anyone realy looks like, maybe you could have put something like "The minute this girl was in range, she jumped in to Regan’s arms'-her (whaterever length hair)(whatever colour) hair flying behind her head/back' or for when epilepsy's looking in the mirror you could say about skin tone or hair colour as we then find out her hair length. but it's good you seem to have a talent, i also wanna know where in your mind is it set? 'cos it seems very american-ish but you say 'mum' in the britt way. good luck writing!

another god chapter, there were a few mistakes like the end of the last thing raven says has no " at the end of his speech, but hey, we all make mistakes! i've also noticed that both male characters name's begin with 'R', was that intenionally planned or was it just a coincidence? one improvement if you ever re-wrote and when you write another chapter is i would add a bit more details/ descriptions cos we still don't know what Epilepsy looks like or much else about her surroundings but it's good. good luck with this story!

quite a good intro to the story, naming is a bit weird, and some parts could be better with some adjustment but overall i think it's a good opening chapter. you haven't named a town so it leaves you open to create your own town or city. one i wouldn't mind reading more of, good luck in this story !

heyy its a really good story but sometimes i get confused as whos talking because sometimes u put ur commas in the wrong places? but other then that its good.

I didn't even read the first chapter Honey. I skimmed looking for a reason why in the name of whatever god you choose that the name of your main character is EPILEPSY!! There was no explination.

I have always wondered why authors on this site make it a competition as to who can create the strangest name (or riddiculous spelling variation of a name)but I must say, this one might just win.

All I can do is shake my head and say "wow."

Why the heck did you name a girl after a brain disorder? Now that's just wierd.

The name of your main character reminds me of that apocryphal story of the uneducated woman who names her baby chlamydia because she heard it in the hospital and thought it sounded pretty.

How can you name a character Epilepsy? I'd seriously like to know whether you knew what that was before you started writing this.

The Mary Sue trap is hard to avoid and its evident even in your summary but other than that the story is quite imaginative.

But seriously, Epilepsy?! It's impossible to ignore just how out of place it sounds.

all right! another update! still and awesome story, keep it coming! :]

Oh, you poor thing! You got flamed. I still like it though. :]