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| Noitanicoitar1 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abuseThis poem is meaningful and shows the dispair of living without happiness. I liked it but the line "I can only smile often" dosn't seem to fit or I don't understand what that line is trying to convey. |
| xGekkeiju 2008-05-24 ch 1, | abuseI've been reading a lot of your poetry.. I suppose I'm a bit of a stalker in that way. A ghost. A wraith. I rarely comment unless I feel that that a piece truly deserves it. This one does. It's good - all of your poems are. But this one feels a bit overdone.. Not the feeling of it, though. You've got this way of putting your own spin on the emotions in your works, and that is immensely difficult; I respect you very much for being able to do so. However, I feel that the lines in this poem are not all your own. The emotion is there, but the words seem cliche. Not all of them, mind you, but a good portion sounds too familiar for my liking. I know that you can do better than this, and that's why I'm commenting. I realize that this poem is a bit older, but I just thought I'd give you my two cents on it. You're talented, and I want to see that talent continue to grow. This was meant to be constructive criticism; I hope I didn't offend you in any way. That certainly wasn't my intention. Please keep writing, as I'm sure that I'm not your only secret admirer. ~Wren |
| AK the Twilight 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseIt took some resolve to mix the verses into forms like that, but it also made it a bit divisive. The sectioning made it a bit harder to make unified connection. Aside from that, this was very good. The first part especially was well written. Consider unifying the poetry a bit better next time. Good job though. |
| Aelfin 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseWow, Isca your poetry is so beautiful. It is also exactly how i feel. I cant wait to read more of your writing, i love it. X |
| Lurid Black 2008-01-10 ch 1, | abuseIt sounds tragic, almost dark, great control of emotion in this poem, you've written down the sorrow of what one would feel. Great work, keep writing! ~Lurid~ |
| Princess-anna57 2008-01-10 ch 1, | abuseWell said. This is very good. Always be positive and keep writing. ~Anna~ ^_^ |