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| Kioasakka 2008-02-17 ch 1,  | abuseWow. I love this. I could feel the panic and doom in every word. I applaud you. :3 |
| Ladybugg13 2008-01-16 ch 1, | abuseThat was great. Really strong, clear imagry, which I love so much. "let’s see Death, penny per spectacle!" That line is great. It almost sounds like something I would say... the irony and sarcasm is just spot on. (whether it was intended or not, that was how I read it.) "Torn paper faces and ironed Fingers, cold sweat and broken lace;" This is such amazing imagery. It's so... I hate to use the same words, but it's so clear. Strong. It just smacks you right in the face. "Broken lace" especially gets me. "mannequin bodies Dear to (what?) fall/disintergrate. " And that, beautiful, tragic, just, the image (look at me going off about imagery. It's just what always strikes me about poems, and especially poems that do it well) I get from that... Then, mixed with a question. It makes you think. No one cares about the mannequins, no one will cry over them, yet, somehow, it seems all the more tragic because of that. Maybe it's tragic because no one will care? I loved the whole piece, really fantastic. (long review! woohoo!) -Bugg |
| xDancingintheRainx 2008-01-11 ch 1, | abuseI absolutely love this piece. Is has this terrifying panic feeling. I usually find that when people try to write a nightmare poem, or something with this intensity, its usually really unsuccessful and ends up sounding awful, but this is a truly great piece and is becoming a quick favorite of mine. Excellent work! |
| diffident 2008-01-11 ch 1, | abuseYou definitely captured the chaotic essence of the dream. This poem is a bunch of jumbled images to me, which is usually what a nightmare is. I love the line "The L-word loses letters with the/Gunshot blast". That's just an amazing line, seriously. There's so much in this poem... I love it. Excellent job. marie |
| Lurid Black 2008-01-10 ch 1, | abuseThis was based off a nightmare? Sweet, well writen, discriptive, random (good random) and kept me reading. Keep writing! ~Lurid~ |
| vaudeville summers 2008-01-10 ch 1, | abuseLove the language and the fast pace. (I also like the tiny bits of alliteration.) When I tried to incorporate Icarus into a poem I was supposed to write, it was a disaster. But with this piece, it just...flows. Good job! ~DeeAnna |