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| AtlantisGirl12 2008-06-17 ch 1,   | Another excellent poem! I really liked the different examples of beauty that you gave. It was interesting that you listed tragedy among them because I don't think many people would consider that a description of beauty. It has meaning for me personally because of what my family is going through. Great job with the rhyming and repetition; it works really well for the poem and seems effortless. I also loved the ending. It was a perfect way to end the poem because it sticks in the reader's mind. |
| simpleplan13 2008-06-12 ch 1, | I have to say I did not like the repetition here at all. It just messed the flow a bit and didn't seem to add anything to the piece. I might do it like "Beauty is/ a flower growing among thorns (I took out the word the 'cause I didn't think it was needed)/a rainbow after passing storms" etc. I think that would flow better. I also liked the subject matter of what beauty is, but the ending didn't seem to fit with that. I get Christ's love being beauty and without that we are dead, but because of the way the poem is written it seems like that last line applies to all the descriptions, which doesn't make sense. Also the line "draws us all near" I know it's for the rhyming, but I thought of it as physically near to look at the tragedy. It took me a few reads to realize you meant drawing ppl closer together emotionally. That said the rhyming works really well because it does not seem forced or anything. The grammar is also good and I think the piece works okay without punctuation. What I liked best about the piece was all the descriptions of beauty because they worked really well and were really true. They were also different than what you usually think of. Nicely done. |
| Briar's Thorn 2008-06-06 ch 1, | I LOVE IT! its great, the imagery is perfect, and the meaning priceless. i completely agree with you. for without we are dead. very nice, going on my Favs! |
| East-0f-Eden 2008-03-22 ch 1, | this is nice especially around Easter. I like your use of repetition. |
| lonely silhouette 2008-03-21 ch 1, | Love it! Short and simple, but it has a god point. The last two lines are great! |
| Sexy vampirechick 2008-03-11 ch 1, | Hmm..I didn't expect the poem to go this way,but it sure surprised me.I love it a lot. |
| Sillage le Las 2008-01-11 ch 1, | hallelujah |
| smile for the sunshine 2008-01-11 ch 1, | completely true. beauty is in Christ. and it is He that makes all things beautiful. He brings new light to the world. when i got closer to Him, everything looked different everything was different. and this piece is completely true. haha, i am fighting the urge to scream, "you preach it sister." haha. = P have a wonderful day. |