FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| perpetual questions 2008-01-13 ch 1,  | abuseWhat is this world coming to? Really intense, it's horrible to think that this is where we are, yet it's mostly true. Great work. My only suggestion is that you not repeat "I had a nightmare once" quite so much; the repetition got a little annoying and seemed to detract from the flow of the piece. Other than that, fantastic. |
| greype-juice 2008-01-12 ch 1, | abuseVery, very well done. Great use of repetition. Great topic. Wonderful job. greype juice |