FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Berserko 2008-04-15 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a poem of strong emotion. Your word choice is indeed a very good one, and it takes the poem to heights that are hard to reach. I also like the structure, which may not be something a lot of people payed attention to. Three lines that begin with "We are the ones who..." then a line that begins with "At least, ..." It is a good structure. But it falls to pieces at the last part, where it is almost structured the exact same way, save for the "But we are." It could easily be "At least we are strong" and hold a cohesive structure with the same message. Good nonetheless. - Nathan |
| fusillade 2008-04-14 ch 1, | abuseThat was beautiful. :) Your word choice was great. I loved it. There was so much feeling in it. It almost made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. The only thing I would suggest would be to remove the line 'We are Autistic'. I realize that the poem was about that, of course. But there's just so many ways that it could be interpreted and so many different things it could mean to different people that it almost seems a shame to tell them what it's really about. |
| Let Them Eat Cake 2008-01-13 ch 1, | abuseO. That's pretty actually. A bittersweetness that clings to the words due to your word choice. I enjoyed it! Good job! Love it! Kay (Let Them Eat Cake) |