There was something that distracted me after I read a certain part. I found it very odd how Atsuka's place got totally roughed up, Gen falls asleep in the same room, and Atsuka comes back and doesn't so much as to raise an eyebrow? If I were Atsuka, I would have put two and two together. Roughed up room + unconscious Gen = OMG wth happened?

That was the only part I found out of place. Or maybe I missed something? Anyhow, nice fluff all over the place. Lovely!

It's been a while since you updated. Is this an active story?

Ah fluff. Good stuff. I hope you don’t mind me just sharing what I thought about the each of the chapters I read.

Oh, Gen finally gave in to Atsuka. Inevitable, huh? ;Db Also, I liked how you back off on Atsuka’s aggressive/dominant attitude when things got serious with Gen. Saved Atsuka from becoming a real arse.

Just a quick question. Is everyone in this Story Japanese minus Gen? I’m also kind of wondering what happen to Atsuka’s mentioned girlfriend from chapter 1?

Oh DHAMN! The quote Atsuka recited that was practically identical to the one Gen said in the previous chapter caught me off guard. WOW! LOL

And o drama! Whohoo!

When the guy yelled “The Genesis must continue!” I was like “Whoa, what could this be about?” Sounds so serious and scandalous!

A few thoughts that came across my mind while reading this chapter.

1.)Yes, seriously. Atsuka is EPL supreme. One badass impolite chick.
2.)Gen seems easy to seduce though.
3.)The janitor is AWESOME, cracked me up royally.
4.)So much for buying Gen some clothes and getting a bite to eat.

Ah, Atsuka lives up to her title of EPL. LOL I’ll have to ask though, Gen seems like your typical/boring straight girl minus the fact that she’s always lured in by Atsuka’s eyes. It’s hard to imagine what this will lead to because Gen’s character seems capable of not changing. Interesting. I shall see where you take this.

I'm going to review each chapter as I go while it still remains fresh in my mind, so bear with me.

When Storm described Atsuka, the first unofficial title that came across my mind was "Evil Psycho Lesbian (EPL)." LOL A fun type of personality that many themes of shoujo-ai has. Although, my first impression of Atsuka when she tackled Storm was "cute little annoying sister."

Let's see where this goes!

Ah, Motuba showed up again! Things are heating up! I'm excited to find out about Atsuka's past and to see how Gen will handle things. This is so exciting! I really love the way you've developed the characters, and I love all of them (even Motuba XD). I can't wait to read more, and good luck with everything! The suspense is killing me, but don't worry, I won't tell you to hurry.

Oh, and you asked what we thought of Gen and Atsuka's relationship. Well personally, I LOVE IT! I think it may just be my favorite yuri couple of all time! I love your writing and I can't wait to get started reading your new story. Expect some reviews from me in the near future!

Wo! :high fives: Good luck, and thanks so much for being so supportive of Street Angel and Boku no Heart, by the way! YAY!

WO! 8D I love this story! I don't care if this chapter was filler, I loved it anyway. The plot is starting to thicken beautifully, and I'm excited to see what happens next!

Woo, things are starting to get intense... bothing between Gen and Atsuka and with the past catching up to them!
I really, really love this! XD Atsuka always makes me laugh, and she's just so sweet in an odd kind of way.

A very good start, I think! Your dialogue is wonderful. I felt like it was smooth, realistic, and just very banter-like, something I really like in dialogue. You told us volumes about your characters in the dialogue with very few (if any) breaks for long-winded description or anything. Awesome job there! ^_^

You seem to repeat a lot of words, though. The one that stood out to me was "brilliant". I think you used three or four times before I even got halfway through the document. :P So maybe go through and shake things up word-wise. Use stunning or vibrant or something of the like instead of brilliant.

But overall, seems like a fabulous story so far! ^_^

what i liked- well, i'm into femmeslash, so i suppose that tops my list. i also liked your description of the flower and how you got your point across it's condition without being too melodramatic.

what i didnt-the dialogue and settings seem a bit contrived to me. it seems like you were forcing the characters to interact in a certain way.

It's not a bad piece, but I see a lot of repetition in words. Also, there are quite a few noticible grammar and spelling errors throughout the piece.

Otherwise, the story isn't bad, I like the names. But it is far to short, and there is definitely not enough description.
-CL

You defenantly have the enjoyment factor all wrapped up. When I saw that you were next on the review game, I couldn't wait to review the next chapter of The New Bloom. I really do enjoy reading this. All of the characters are well driven and Motuba is a well-placed foil. The question that arises is why he bothered to tell (or rather, warn) Gen about Atsuka.

Sometimes I felt the sentencing was a bit odd, but nothing was distracted me too terribly bad. Noting that ruined the good pace that this story has. Great dialog, which has been consistently the best part of this story.

I really liked how realistic the characters were. Gen seems to have a lot more dimension than most characters that I see, and the story is a lot more interesting as a result of that.

I didn't like how you begin describing the characters physically in the first few paragraphs though. It almost seemed forced. If you spread more of the description throughout the passage, or placed it later in the chapter, or even story it would sound better.

But overall I liked this, even though I'm not too into slash in general.

~Liberry

I love this story. It's super entertaining. Atsuka makes me laugh with pretty much everything she says. The dialog is the best part of this story, of what I've read so far.

What I disliked is that you hardly ever varied your adverbs. I noticed this in the previous chapter as well. Everyone, especially Atsuka, does pretty much everything "devilishly" . The walked devilishly. They look devilishly. They smile devilishly. No adverb is that good.