|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Charity F 2008-02-13 ch 1, | abuseYour incoherence is lovely. =) Just one thing though: I would have changed "an invisible chain; the magic words" to "an invisible chain; those magical words" - but that's just me. |
| Dr. Colleen 2008-01-28 ch 1, | abuseMaybe this sounds strange, but your freeverse is the only freeverse that doesn't have me shouting "But it's not REAL poetry" at the top of my lungs. It's just so good. Magical. Cheers, Colleen |
| Aquafied 2008-01-21 ch 1, | abusepainted upon sunset cheeks and yellow letter paper -you know that smell upon entering a stationary store? it doesnt seem incoherent i rather like it |
| The Postscript 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseThere are some poems that a writer needs to write. These by far are the most significant; while they may not be the pinnacle of your writing portfolio, they most certainly reach a pinnacle in discovering yourself further ... something that I truly believe can never be forgotton - something that will always effect your actions, words ... from then on. I definitely felt some significane in here ... just a little of what Emerson, Thoreau, etc. grasp in their works of Walden and the like. And though it is hazy and unclear right now, with time it will most definitely shine through. Keep writing ... Best regards, k. |
| simpleplan13 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseI like this a lot... the imagery is beautiful... and I really like the formay... great piece |
| review 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abusewondrously heartfelt. metaphors abound, with unexpected but not undesirable consequences. it's also mystical in a way. good use of natural wonders to express the wonders in your heart. excellent write. |
| Moondog Dozier 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseThe sincere emotion is quite evident in this. The voice draws the reader in, and connects them to the speaker's words. Very poignant. Well written work. MD:77. |
| Random-Idiocity 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseVery well done. Everything flows wonderfully and it is just a good poem. Keep it Up! |