I think it's good. There were only a few grammatical errors; once you said "me" instead of "my". I do that a lot, too.

I also noticed that whenever there was a "p" or an "m" before and "a", you capitalized th "p" or "m". Why? It looks kind of off.

I don't know how old Gypsy and Angel are, or what they look like, so I had a hard time imagining them.

For the most part, you had great spelling and grammar. I could clearly imagine what was going on. The plot seems a little simplistic right now, but I'm sure it will speed up later. Also, in the beginning I was confused about the first paragraph, but now I see that Gypsy was talking all the time.

Please update it! I'd love to read more.