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| Sebastian Osprey 2008-05-25 ch 1,  | abuseThis made me smile. Absolutely lovely. Osprey |
| Renata Ora 2008-03-11 ch 1, | abuseI really like the message of this poem :) It has a very nice and fuzzy feeling to it, and it really is touching. But I really like how you didn't say the full word of "excuse", but put "'Scuse". I'm amazed at how you rhyme. How long did this take you? (I take SO long to find words to rhyme). There are some verses that are a little dragged out, such as “I’m sorry, hon, but your mom is going to have to wait." I think you could've shortened it to: "I'm sorry, hon, but your mom will have to wait." I just think the rhythm flows a little more. Great job! |
| End-of-forever 2008-01-20 ch 1, | abuseoh, how sad! Or...maybe not. I think 'touching' might be a better word than 'sad'. Do you ever feel like, after a certain point, all intense emotions feel a bit like sadness? Hm. I'm not sure if I'm making sense or not. I really liked this poem, though. The rhyme caught me off balance at first, because I wasn't expecting it, but I thought it really worked. |
| Kiwi-kiwi6 2008-01-16 ch 1, | abuseVery beautiful and touching. I love it! Of course, I love most everything you write! Keep it up! |
| Billie.Joelle 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseHow sweet. It was so touching. I love how it was from the perspective of the angel. And the poem was so flowing and descriptive. I loved it, good job. |
| the Wandering Bard 2008-01-15 ch 1, | abuseThis poem was incredibly touching. I am not normally a fan of free form poetry (though that is my own prejudice, and not a comment on your own talent, which is wonderful), but I think it was probably the best way to express this particular sentiment. I must admit, I am curious as to whether this poem was inspired by real events in your life. If so, may I offer My heartfelt regret... Having to witness that sort of thing is terrible. Meanwhile, your writing is beautifully evocative, in a really sad way, and I hope to see more from you soon. |