*blinks*
um. might take me a while. wow. the imagery was so strong...your talent, of course. amazing. this will move people.

This was very original, I enjoyed it. I'm not sure if you plan on going forth with this piece but to me it would be best as a one shot. It's a really good piece of work. good job.

Wow.
I love this.
I really like how you built it up, not revealing he was dead until the end. It really fits the tone of the story.
Great job!