aww kazzy it's soo cute.
I think it was the beginning of V, there is a typo. You just mixed up four and for. haha.
I like the story tho!!

Hey girl! Here I am, again, offering my omniscient opinions of your lovely little tale...

This is a cute chappie. You really are a hopeless romantic, you know. ^_~

A critique in regards to the description of Abagail's situation: don't just tell me that Abagail is jealous, show me! Let me hear the sudden, ill-concealed spite behind a seemingly innocent comment, see the angry sparkle in her eyes, feel the selfish desire burn inside her...or something, whatever you want to get across, I think you get what I mean :) A good written work will pull the reader in, make them feel like they're part of the story and experiencing the same emotions as the characters. Just keep writing, you have an awesome start, it will come with experience (quoth Mendina).

Wow... just wow... I just finished the new addition, and I am stunned by your ability. I had no idea you had this whole side of you! Congrats and keep it up. I'm expecting an update soon!

yea it got fixed! now i can tell you once again, great chapter, update again as soon as you can!

Kazy... I love your story and I love you! I kinda leave sucky reviews... but that's okay... by the way, is your first part missing?

Yay, so should be interesting since I haven't heard the full plotline yet, but that's okay. I think it'll be better to find out as I go along.

Anyway, I'm going to do what I do best because it is what helps writers most: constructive criticism. :)

"The wind whipped Elizabeth’s dark chocolate brown hair as she galloped across the beach on a horse."- I understand the image you are trying to build here, but this statement sounds incredebly cliche'd- the "she galloped on a horse across a beach" part that is; you might want to find a different way to indicate that that is where she is.

Also, your writing has a lot of description and such behind it, but you want to be careful about too much. You might enjoy writing it, but as my authoress Aunt Diane says, "adjectives are a writer's worst friend." So, especially in those first two paragraphs, you may want to focus on what's important. Description's wonderful to write, but sometimes it's easy to add too much.

Also, I wanted to comment on the description of her knowing that below the ocean was a world teeming with life etc. etc. When you include statements such as these, they have to have a purpose, whether it's supposed to contrast/compare with the environment your character is in, or maybe even allude to something that will be important later. Just thought I should give that reminder.

"the salty smell became one with her genetics"- you have a lot of romantic-sounding language, and then you mention genetics. It stands out in a way I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to and jars the reader out from the otherwise wonderful description.

"Her father was hard-working and successful; each went hand-in-hand with the other."- this sentence is a bit awkward sounding.

Also, does Christopher not have a last name? With these kind of stories, it's usually a tradition to mention both first and last name the first time the character is mentioned.

"and she agreed to exercise them and take care of them as much as she could. He had a hired stable boy, but the horses need companionship and exercise. "- the double use of exercise is a bit close, and the statements sound repititive. Perhaps in the second sentence say why it is a stable boy can't do this? After all, this is something that would most defintely not be considered something fit for a lady to take care of (as first choice) at this time period.

"but she had no seen him in a long time" **not

"and he started taking care of his looks."- awkward sounding

"He was very witty and fun to be around; he just was very private" --> "fun to be around--just very private" (better flow)

"He taught her the names of the stars"- the "he" needs to be identified here.

"She was about eight, and did not know how to swim"- need to ID "she" here

"But today would be an exception. She still to this day does not know exactly how it happened;"--> "but that day would be an exception." then that second part sounds weird and should be in past tense anyway because that's how you've been writing the story, but perhaps instead say something like "it was all a blur" or "it happened to quickly for her to know what happened" or something like that.

"she remembers"- again, wrong tense.

"When she came to, an angel was staring in her face"- awkard, maybe "when she came to, an angel was looking down upon her"

"This is what she remembers about the first time she met Christopher Brown"- again, needs to be in past tense

"and saw her swept up by the waves into deeper water"--> "had seen"

"When he did not see her emerge, he became worried and rushed out there to save her. Unfortunately, this would not be the only time he had to save her."--> "when he had not seen her emerge, he had become worried...that would not be..."

"Christopher learned more about nature and tricks of the trade about how to finish chores more quickly outside, and Elizabeth learned many of the aforementioned skills."- what?

"She never swam for leisure; she kept..."-->leisure, but instead kept

"The present-day Elizabeth" - okay, I'm thinking, instead you might want to separate things differently, like you have a separation between the two paragraphs of the flashback, when the flashback should probably have a separation on either side- otherwise the sudden step into present day isn't really very clear.

Also, suddenly it is mentioned that Elizabeth is not as accident-prone anymore, but when it had been mentioned before, it seemed more like a life-long trait; so perhaps when you first talk about it, you should mention how it was particularly bad when she was young for some reason.

"Small bad luck followed her—mostly due to her klutziness, she suspects"- "small bad luck" sounds awkward and it needs to be "she suspected"

"But for the most part, the large and very complicated bad luck left her in peace. Or so she thought." worded weirdly

Okay, so Elizabeth likes to wash off in the ocean, but she won't swim for leisure... it seems odd that she was swept away while in shallow water when she was younger, but that it doesn't affect her at all to be alone in the same place again. And again, ocean waves crashing over her should cause discomfort, shouldn't they?

"house that was the right neighbor of hers"- sounds weird

Okay, and that's it for the CC. Sorry, I know it's a lot, but I'm usually editing others stories and stuff; so, now I have an automatic tendency to do this for whatever I read. I really liked the chapter itself- Johnathen is quite amusing. You definately have something going here, but I think you need an editor or something before you post the documents so you don't end up with anymore ridiculously long reviews from me. Actually, I wouldn't mind editing since I think I could help when it comes to stories- I've developed a lot of useful skills from experience and tips from wonderful authors...but anyways...

Good Job! ^-^

~ * ~ Rikku

what a fantastic first chapter. i love the time period you are setting the story in as well. you don't see many stories like yours on this site, so i'm looking forward to your next chapter.