FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Oracle of Destiny 2008-03-28 ch 1,  | abuseTrue. I think that no matter how famous a person is they are all like the same of us because they want to live a normal life. |
| truthordeal 2008-01-23 ch 1, | abuseYou know, this was a very well-metered, well rhyming verse of poetry. And you know, this is very true: The way Hollywood lures people in and casts them back out. And I think your writing to the stereotype of the starlet waitress also was good. I can't put a word for it; whether it was comedic or whatever, but it was still good. This really relates to the current events in a few actresses lives(you know who they are). While I know you wrote this a couple days before, it kind of fits in with the death of Heath Ledger. I don't know. I may just be ranting at this point. |
| felicia13 2008-01-19 ch 1, | abuseOk. First things first. I absolutely loved "Fade in you lost actress in Los Angeles," mostly for the lost actress/Los Angeles alliteration. Very nice. And the repetition of 'fade' in each of the stanzas was a nice little tie-in for the whole thing and to the title. However, I feel like you wanted to do more and you sort of cut yourself short on this one. Like there was more, you just weren't sure what to do with it. The contrast of somebody v. nobody is good, but your punctuation is lacking. I'm only pointing it out because it irritates me and this poem doesn't feel like one of those that shouldn't have proper commas. And there are those that don't feel grammar-y. This isn't one of those. But, yeah. I liked it. Especially since, you know, you suck at poem-things. Felicia. |
| Kumquat21 2008-01-19 ch 1, | abuseLovely as usual. The rhythm was wonderful. Do continue with your poetry. ^^ |
| Random-Idiocity 2008-01-17 ch 1, | abuseWow this was good. ''Fog the mirrors of your ferrari'' was a great line. Keep it Up! |