Very beautiful poem. I liked the varying line lengths. The short ones especially stood out, which helped a lot with both the general feel of the poem and the meaning. You use a lot of good poetical devices, such as the one Clarelouise mentioned and the aliteration of "miraculous moment." They really enhanced the quality of the poem. If you ask me, the use of poetical devices are what seperate good poems from random clumps of words. Hmm... I honestly can't think of any concrit (I'm really trying. I've read it through four times). I really loved this poem! Great job!

sure hope u got a gd mark 4 this, u deserve it! i love the rhythm of the poem, and the short lines are very effective at dramatising it. the ending is especially good, and i also like 'Exotic blackberry eyes of steel' - the contrast between the 2 metaphors is very well thought out. well done :)