I laughed at this. I'm not sure why, but alas, I did. The choice of words is beautiful. Repetative, without being overwhelming. Reminds me of my pen name. Possible fave. Good job.

This is so full of pain and bitterness and self-recrimination. It feels as though you lost someone or something dear to someone/thing else. I left with a sense of sadness and loss, as if I, too, lost something precious. Achingly beautiful.

--Finwe

I'm thinking you meant this to tell something else, but what I saw in it was copying. Like someone sees something you've done that they like and aspire to do, so they cut you down and take it all away.
I'm probably wrong, though, aren't I?

Falcon