so sad and so loving at the same time... you rhyme then don't rhyme. is there a rhyming skeme that i fail to see, or was the rhyming just a random coincidense?

dissociative identities?

I see a lot of potential in this poem. I think that in a number of places you use rhyme and rhythm very effectively. The "she is ..." lines are great. One line where the rhythm doesn't work is "I wish for her to come to no harm". Also, the line "and that none wish to see her despair" feels like one rhyming line too many and, to me, it becomes corny.

Two big things your poem needs are stanzas and punctuation. Stanzas give the thought process structure and allows the reader to understand your meaning more clearly. Punctuation is necessary because poetry is really written to be said out load and without punctuation, you're not giving your reader enough information about how to read it. They have to know when to pause and for how long.

Esther Jade, from the Review Marathon (link on my profile page)

i wish all the people who suffer this way could see this in themselves.

maybe the wizards can make these words into a magic wand we can wave.

your poetry is love. =}

that was nice...

Absolutely, amazingly wonderful. It was well written and filled with emotion. I really, really loved it. I can relate so well to this that it's a bit odd, but it's also touched me, and have I mentioned that I really, really like this?

I want to believe this about me. Regardless of who it is intended for, this is beautiful and I really love it. :]

If you meant this for someone in particular, I hope they can see the wisdom and truth that is evident in your powerful words.