Wow...what a disappointing ending...And characters not cherished in qualities, yet that makes the story as it was. For a short story it made a very broad scene.

This is well written. It is easy to sink into the story and connect with the characters. One thing I didn't like though, was that the characters seem a little one dimensional. This may just be a product of the story being so short, but there you have it. The other thing I want to say is I don't the note at the end was necessary. We can tell from the story itself that Yaren and Del were transported into another world and what Kerripthan is, you don't have to tell us. Still, I liked the story and thought that with a few exceptions it was well done. Keep it up.
Kali

Wow.
This is a really evocative piece of writing, for the main the story flowed well and it was easy to get involved with your main characters.
One niggly thing though was the spelling of the heroine's name; one R or two? It is a bit jarring to have it spelt one way in one sentence then a different way the next which keeps you from really following the story smoothly, apart from a spelling mistake or two I really enjoyed it, (even though it had a sad ending)

Paws
x

I really liked that! I enjoyed the flashbacks, that was really nice. The way your characters were developed was great. The end was also my favorite part!
One thing,
And now, Yaron’s nails dig into Del’s skin as she knows that the end is nigh (oh, Del would love her using that word) and that she’d going to die…

You said "she'd going to die".
haha not that it matters much, the story was still great!
Until we meet again!
~SomethingNifty

REVIEW GAME :D

The idea and plot in this are great, but it is a bit of a mess. While you could go and fix this, it would probably be more effective to rewrite it. The introduction shows us a frantic battle scene and Yaron, who is scared for her life. This is great, but a little more description of the people who she's fighting would probably help to show us her fear. Also try describing things like her heartbeat or sweat or sensation in her stomach as she sees what she is so scared of.

You then have her grab Del and hold him there as the hordes close in on her. This makes me think though, that if she was so scared of dying, and he was such a coward why they didn't run off together as he was already doing.

Then you bring in the flashback sequences. This works well, as the old cliche goes they "see their lives flash before their eyes." But instead of just saying it, you use it to give us their back story and show us why they are the way they are. This shows your character's depth and bond. I was expecting something to scar them and leave them both so scared, but I didn't expect the stranger and the knife so congrats because that is something that would definitely be very scary.

Then we find ourselves back in Zerenn, with Yaron and Del, as they face the music. It confuses me that Yaron wouldn't fight back when Del's life is in danger (and taken) when she so clearly is holding him there because she is afraid of dying alone. While it is well thought out this part, maybe have her fight and he gets killed in the process, instead of her just standing there. The "Even as..." parts work well, but there shouldn't be so many in one group. Maybe three or four instead of the ten you have. It makes her seem helpless, which conflicts with her role of protector which you have developed so well.

Overall, an interesting story, and I did enjoy reading it toward the end, but it really lacks polish. A rewrite is what I'd recommend as there are large parts which should be fixed. Keep at it, there is a gem of a story in there that just needs some help to get out.

Me love it, need i say more?