FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Artemesia-Eyfane 2008-03-13 ch 1,  | abuseThis is good! Just one spelling error. Spelling "shuddered" as you did would have meant as window shutters. I get really ancy about spelling errors, so sorry if this annoys you. |
| Eilinora 2008-01-20 ch 1, | abuseThis is kind of poorly written. You might want to at least capitalize the title. I suggest getting a beta to help correct your grammar errors and awkward phrasing. Also, the pace is far too fast, and this is way too short to count as a full chapter. |
| Vermone 2008-01-20 ch 1, | abuseThis is very intriguing - would love to see how this pans out. I hope this isn't all the first chapter though as its a bit light. Also, some of the writing needs a little tweaking. The first sentence for instance could be written as "The golden wolf raised her muzzle and sang, her howl clear. She could hear her sisters..." It doesn't quite make sense the way you have it. More description would be nice too e.g. "her clear howl echoing through the night". Be interesting to see what you do with this. |