You have no idea how happy I was to see that this had been updated. Great update! Definitely NOT moving too quickly, in fact if Beth could just finally jump Holly, I'd be very happy! As always, can't wait for more.

Baxter

This is a very good story. i dont understand the M rating though. your using a very good blackout system for any possible m rated stuff. youve hinted but never really said anything m rated and youd probibly get even more readers if you lowerd the rating. your style of writing is very good too. i admire it. i just have 1 question that your probbibly getting alot. When are they finaly going to kiss? youve been driving me crazy haha. as i was reading it i kept thinking next chapter next chapter next chapter.you can probibly tell im impatint though. the farthest ive ever gotten without my girls kissing yet is the 5th chapter.i would not be able to live with that much sexual tension. Again very good and i will be reading more of your stories.

I got so excited when I saw there was an update for this haha. I'd say your pacing is just fine, I very much enjoy reading this. :]

-Aly

Why haven't I seen this around before gosh I'm such a moron -__-.

Anyways I love this and this chapter has a feeling of mistrust to me.

Great job ;)

Hey, glad to see an update! I liked this chapter because it showed the conflicting personalities. Shows that it isn't always gonna be sunshine and puppies. I really hope you can find the inspiration to write the next chapter fast, because I really want to see them get together!

Baxter

I don't know when was the last time you updated this story, or if you're even planning on keeping it going. But, I just wanted to say that this story is really, really, really, good. The character developement is very solid, and even though the viewpoint switch was confusing the first time I read it, the second time around (yes, I liked this so much I read it twice) it made a lot more sense. Your plot developement is very good, it doesn't seem at all rushed or uneven, which is very nice to see, coming from someone who reads a lot of stories written by amateur authors. Honestly, the thing that drew me in the most was how real the emotions felt. I don't know if as an author you've ever fallen in love with someone you're not "supposed to," but the thing is, the emotion in this feels so real I'm convinced you have. Thank you for writing this, and keep up the good work.

I really enjoyed this story! I hope that you continue to write this! I especially like this story because it reminds me of my first crush on another girl. I was the shy one and she was the rebellious one, and I think she was into me, but unlike in this story, I was too dense to realize and only figured it out after she moved on. I can only hope that this will work out for them!

I can't wait for more!

Hahaha, I'm actually reviewing someone!

Hm. I must say, you do have good spelling and grammar- much better, or I wouldn't have bothered reviewimg.

I had to find something wrong with it, or I would get less sleep than I already do.

“Then why?” her voice was hoarse, hollow.

It should read:

“Then why?” Her voice was hoarse, hollow.

Had to be something...

Well, overall, your writing style, writing itself, and your story were all good. Your story confuses me a bit, but that's acause I'm tired. All in all, it was a good job.

ok i'm liking this story must know more! plz update soon!

I still love it, and it is progressing quite nicely! I really do hope they get together soon though, the suspense is killing me!! I hope to see more soon!

Baxter

i would like the action to step up a gear in the next few chapters... please... if you get what i mean :P *evil laugh*
i like where this is going ;)

Well i do like it.. a lot!
But it is confusing when it changes perspective... or it is for me, anyway... i am slow though. this chapter was fine, because it starts off saying 'hols' so i know who it's about, but the second chapter confused me lol. i do like the second chapter most, though, because of the situation in which they are in. Also, in chapter two, Holly says she is related to Sam through her dad, and then in chapter three she says "As for father dearest... Who's that?" ... which could happen, but could maybe be clearer so that we get a could picture of Holly's background? Just my opinion! Anyways, i do really like it!

(too lazy to login!)
I love this line: I was female, she was female. I liked men, she was not a man.
Hehe made me laugh. Really nice start! Intriguing! I don't like the line 'GAH.' but that's just me! Looking forward to raeding the next chapters...

Haha, well I'm glad my reviews give you courage, I hope that means you'll keep writing it! It's interesting to see them both so hopelessly lost and not realising that the other is just as infatuated. Keep it up!

Baxter

Pure awesomeness