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| Den-san 2008-02-11 ch 4,  | abuseLove it. Can't wait for the next chapy. Is Nikki going to try and teach Elekti? |
| Lord Of The Marsh 2008-02-07 ch 3, | abuseVery good. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter. This story is on my story alerts list. My only nitpick would be to maybe make your paragraphs longer by grouping 2 or 3 together. 4.5/5 |
| Xenochron 2008-01-25 ch 2, | abuseI think that Chapter 1 was much better than your prologue, which was kind of cliche. Keep up the good work! :) |
| Den-san 2008-01-25 ch 1, | abuseInteresting twist making Elekti the granddaughter of her master. You should try putting her in a situation that would challenge the Master's ability to punish her. Waiting for the next chapy. |
| subject2excess 2008-01-22 ch 1, | abuseI like where you are going with this, it's an interesting premise... but I think that it could have been slightly more in-depth. For a prolgue though, it does its job. I'm looking forward to chapter 1 :) |
| Etrigani 2008-01-22 ch 1, | abuseThis sounds like it will be a very interesting story. I look forward to the first chapter. |
| M. L. Mason 2008-01-22 ch 1, | abuseMust say that I like the idea, and whether you know it or not that reflects real life issues. No doubt that it reflects slavery, from egyptian times to the black people in america. But also it reflects on honour killings, common in asian (or indian for all the americans, but india is ONE country in that big continent Asia) families. For example, in some places if a Pakistani girl goes out with a Indian man they could both be killed...Anyway, good writing, but it a little rushed. I know its the Prologue, but you could be more in depth. When i started writing I did the same. Its easier to sum it up in a prologue, but I think you could write it again, at about two-thousand words. It's your choice of course. 8.4/10 |