FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DD Fabuloux 2008-01-23 ch 1,  | abuseI love this very nice and heartfelt |
| Matthew James Current 2008-01-23 ch 1, | abuseI did enjoy reading this. It's intellectual and uses snow, so it has two of my favorite things :) For a short poem you articulated yourself well, my only thought is that when you use this many similes all together without using any other literary devices to fill in the in-between spaces, it gets a little dense and it becomes a obvious to the reader. I bet if you flushed this out with some more imagery and maybe used metaphors to describe different aspects of your message it would be even better. Still very nice work. I applaud both your poem and the thoughts behind it. |