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| Matthew James Current 2008-01-23 ch 1,  | abuseNice work here. I liked the ending especially. While I can see you didn't struggle overmuch with the rhyme scheme (an acheivement of note, as rhyming is much more difficult then we are oft lead to believe), I would reccommend against it normally in such short poems, especially dealing with love. Your work is definitely not cliche, but the "Broken hearts, shattered dreams" is imagery that I am sure you have the talent to improve upon. Make sure you don't settle for a poem that's just "good" when you could push yourself and acheive "great." Keep up the good work and keep on challenging yourself! |