You were right, this is really good!

That's so nice (Angeline rocks)...I just don't understand how he died...then again it's already so late my brain has probably shut down for maintenence, so NOTHING makes sense!

(Ignore the surplus comments, please)

Keep writing!

ah, dark indeed, well done

Seriously girlie, if you don't snap out of this funk you're in, I will tie you to a chair and... and... and... force you to read some horribly graphic ADSS fanfic! -Cackles- -Reads over her threat- Ah, my brain! The images! It burns!

Moving on... -Shivers- Really good, and so... frankly, disturbing. But in the good way! You were right. It's dark, very dark. However... -Winces as Luthy groans- I do want to mention some stuff that could make it a tad better.

Spelling/grammar: Check it over on Word really quick. A little proof-read will do wonders.

Summary: Remember the Silver Rule? (If you haven't read the review for 'The Bullet' yet, go read it. This won't make any sense until you do.) You need to tweak it very slightly. Less jot-summary, more suspense. -Winces- I'm such a **. Sorry!

It is really great though Luthy. You're just making some simple mistakes. Don't worry, I made them all the time when I was a new writer. Hell, I'm still making them!