It's a beautiful story; you portray the emotions perfectly. I would write more, but I can't entirely think to clearly thanks to sleep deprivation. . . XD so I'll just give a detailed review for the next chapter.
--Alex

This is a good 'present' chapter!

God damnit, now i can't wait for the next chapter. Sometimes i hate it when you do these things. Hurry the hell up or else! Oh and if i spelled anything wrong, i dont have my glasses on and i cant see **.

I really like this! I feel really sorry for Kanna though. No mother should act like that.

Stupid computer! Why won't you let me login?! (I'm at the library's computers.) Sorry I haven't been able to review you! Well, now you know why.

Hey, I loved this chapter. I really started to believe the characters Kanna and Yume. Their interaction is wonderful rapport of "who stole my blanket?" Nice! I also loved how Yume is like the surrogate mother to Kanna.

Breathe now, it’s okay.
“Its just me and you, now.”
So tired but… Calm down, Kanna.
“Go to sleep now… there you go.”
Warm.

That was beautiful.

I'm really starting to wonder about this enigma Kanna. Maybe you can start to exploit her mind in future chapters to reveal stuff about her mother and her true fears. Take it chapter by chapter, and you'll get to the end, okay? Have fun with this story, because I love it!

I like this story a lot! I can't believe you're only in 11th grade, this story is a pretty intense subject. I can't wait to read some more. You're a good writer, keep it going! :)

Man, I hope you don't think I'm an insane stalker as I'm reviewing you like crazy. Oh well. Just don't tell me where you live, mwahahaha. Let's get down to business shall we?

First of all, WOW. This was a really good chapter. You've made wonderful improvement concerning character development and descriptions. I really sympathized with Kanna with all her shyness and fear of being hit. I think that the interaction between Kanna and those boys was simply perfect and poignant. Kids can be such a pain in the *ss. Great job. I'm seeing a really good story coming along.

And now for the brutality of the double-edged critique. I won't be too cruel. I think.

I think that Yume became friends with Kanna far too quickly. If you think about it, in real life, even kids won't make friends with losers just for the heck of it. Little kids become friends with the kid with the biggest toy or the most winning personality. If Yume's so confident, I think she would already have friends and wouldn't even care about Kanna. Even the grownups were practically descending from heaven as angelic agents. Being a masochist, I want Kanna to suffer. She's your Carrie from Stephen King. She's going to be tortured and abused. She's going to have nightmares and pent-up hatred. Make her life a believable hell.

This is just a plot suggestion from a inexperienced writer, so do what you want with it. I think that Yume should not even be interested in Kanna at first. There should be something special about Kanna that Yume would like or would want to exploit. THAT'S how they become friends. Not because Yume really likes Kanna or anything. OR maybe Yume eventually sees Kanna and lets her play with her. But this isn't my story, so do what you like. I just would like a more believable friendship. Remember, kids are just like adults concerning friendships except in one aspect: kids are far more blunt in their exploitation. For example? "I want that toy! Give it to ME!"

Geez, that was a long review. Hope you don't mind.

I really love this!

It's getting good; it seems like you've had this thought for a while. Chapter 1 is far less confusing than the prologue. Looks like you're starting to get into the swing of things. Hmm, may I offer a technical suggestion for your timeline? Maybe you could add just a little more space or maybe even a visible line in between the past and present. I say this because your paragraphs are very brief; so I'm a little jarred when the past comes in suddenly. Other than that, it's good. It's horror, right? I'm expecting much blood, violence, and creepy goodness, heh.

Well...hurry and upload the future chapters. I think you'll do fine with the story, but the prologue alone is a little...confusing. There's no rush, of course. However, I find that the more engaging stories are the ones that explain the characters immediately. This allows you to empathize with them faster, thus more people will be interested. Like you said, your future chapters will make things clearer. So, might as well take a dive, right? Really, it's not horrible, whatever you think. Just keep chugging away; your story sounds promising.