Wow I like this alot I can't wait for you to post the next one.

This is really good. I can see this is your baby, as it's long and intense. Can't say I'm really a good reviewer of vampire stories, but this is better than a lot of vampy tales I've seen. Good job!

I'm a firm believer in descriptions in even the mundane, but here's the catch. Mundane experiences must described in such a way that makes stories unique and undeniably fascinating. Besides that, descriptions aid the plot of a story (to keep it from going stale and to keep it going).

You described primarily by the sensory detail of sight. But how does the character "feel" about objects? How do they affect her? Why do you need to know about her black and red ear buds and CD player? I think that fantasy stories need to have plenty of descriptions to make a reader believe in a fantasy world. However, seeing that your character's experience is just like any other average girl (for now), maybe you can streamline the descriptions to the most important details.

The ending was executed well. Kanna's reflection on her music reveals the personality traits of the protagonist. She is a loser, lonely, and depressed. That's more of a description that I enjoy: one that helps develop characters or plot.

Phew, this was long. Hope you don't mind my constructive criticism. You can take it or leave it. But anyway, I think this is a good story! Keep at it!