I like this story a whole lot. The way it's written, the plot, the characters... The only thing that seemed kind of overwhelming was the fight Elijah had and then finding out so soon after it ended that his friend had died, that was almost a little too emotion at once. But you're a very talented writer, and I'm intrigued to see what else happens.

i love this story plz continue!plz

Wow, your main character sounds like a text book narcissist

hahahaha, this was really good. i definitely didn't expect a gay boy to come over to him... i thought it would be a girl. poor elijah... i wonder how he'd get out of THIS date... XD

your writing was good, but i suggest cutting down on those huge paragraphs you have... on paper, they may be fine, but on a computer screen, it's killer to the eyes. there were a few points in those paragraphs that i thought you could seperate into different ones.

this was a nice little piece, though - good job! :)

-Lefty (from the review marathon, hosted by the review game forum - link on my profile page)

HAHA funny stuff, you got us lol =)

V.

Ahahaha. I love this! I wish it were longer.

HA! you've gotta love this--HA!! Cheeky stuff, I like :)