Reviews for Cigarettes and Gasoline

Reviews For: Cigarettes and Gasoline - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

JadeDream 2008-10-12 ch 5,	abusei really like this so far, cant wait to read the next chapter, update soon!
grumpirah 2008-10-12 ch 5,	abuseWhen is Devon gonna toughen up? She can't keep letting her sister walk all over her and humiliate her. That's gotta stop.
Twist Their Emotions 2008-10-12 ch 5,	abuseAlright, I'm interested in how your main characters are going to connect.
Smartass Joker 2008-10-12 ch 5,	abuseUpdate!
I Murder on Impulse 2008-10-05 ch 4,	abuseFantastic story! xx
Smartass Joker 2008-09-10 ch 4,	abuseUPDATE!
i love life 2008-08-07 ch 4,	abusei loved loved loved it so far.update soon
Brazilian'Wonderer. 2008-07-17 ch 4,	abuseWhat I thought about Alex in this chapter wa that Alex is kind of um, putting it into words: doesn't give a chance to people. Yeah he understands them about what they think about him, but um, he just imidiatly thinks 'h she is this and that so if she is what she looks and sounds like then I know her personality already' ut to be true he doesn't. But the story was good :) the nasty part was LOL coz i nvr heard of any story like that A lot of cursing (not that I dissaprove btw i read ur A/N) I love the way he always says that he actually curses in his head lol, anyways good story carry on xD
SK Magicker 2008-05-21 ch 4,	abuseThe relationship between Alex and Mia is going perfectly smoothly, actually, and I believe that it is the only relationship that you've written believably thus far. ** is one word. It is a compound word. Please be kinder to italics. Your characters sound overdone. I think the relationship between Devon and Alex is quite underdeveloped. One would think that Alex would have a shred of compassion in him, but he is without a doubt the least benign character I've ever read. I hope you have intended to successfully make Alex world's biggest hypocrite, because Devon doesn't get a word in edgewise when he goes on prick tirade about her judging him, when really, he's being excruciatingly stereotypical: Blaming the "popular" kids. Popularity is an illusion. If you put a person on a pedestal, they're on a pedestal. If you put them equal to yourself, they are your equal. Again, I'm going to reiterate that I dislike the switching of first person points of view. I hope you discontinue it; your story will sound more intelligent upon doing so. SK Magicker
SK Magicker 2008-05-21 ch 3,	abuseI have a few suggestions. I HIGHLY suggest that you do not switch the first person points of view. I much preferred the story to be solely in Devon's point of view. Switching them causes your work to be amateur, confusing and less interesting. Your beta either a) doesn't read often or b) is really young, because there are several mistakes in the text. Don't abuse italics. By using italics as much as you have, your characters' words are overemphasized and difficult to understand. They seem emotional when they shouldn't. Devon appears to not be able to decide whether she is demure or a bigmouth. Everything she says is one or the other and there is no happy medium. I suggest you find it. I will continue reading but I admit to an extremely high level of dubiousness. Keep up the work; please at least take the things I have said into consideration. And try to find a better beta. SK Magicker
wandless 2008-04-27 ch 4,	abuseOh I just reread the whole story and I really, really like how you showed the main character as being completely incompetent to look after Mia. Now I feel sort of angry and distanced from her. I have no pity for her whatsoever, even if she does have some stupid deep dark story behind it. With the cutting thing, she should man up and just do it! It's not that hard. She should just grab a toothpick or something and see how it feels. Once you've done that and felt the pain you can get to a degree why people do it. So far... I'm just kind of like whatever. Alex is completely stereotypical. I don't care if he's all nice to Mia or whatever. There is nothing original about him. Same goes with Devon. Ermm... I should say something constructive now! I dunno if that helped. It might have just made you feel cut. But I'm sure you can deal with it. I guess there isn't much you can do to change what or how you write because it's not like I can give you techniques or tell you what to cut out. I think the only thing you can do is read, read, read. Stop reading mediocre teen romance fiction (ok, don't stop, because some of it is awesome) and start reading the classics, different genres, just anything that has good writing. That's the only advice I can give. It'll improve your writing (eventually) and make you a better person. If you don't get it, want to rant or flame back or whatevs let me know. Or not. Up to you. But getting a reply would be lovely because I've spent like 5 mins on this! Not that I don't appreciate your efforts in writing this, because clearly you are very talented! Umm ok I'm off. Have a great week and please update soon.
Tortured Breath 2008-04-26 ch 4,	abuseAH! Great work on this chapter! I really like where you are taking the two of them. ~Dark Angel
I.Heart.Shi 2008-04-26 ch 4,	abuseno! WHAT HAPPENED!? it stopped! lol i was all ready to click on the button for next chapter and it just wasnt there!
akaCHEEKS 2008-04-26 ch 4,	abusehaha that's helal fast. i don't think the relationship between mia and alex is going too fast. considering that he's been through something similar to the pain that she's feeling.. he would of course just fall in and help her out. the pace is perfect.
xbrunnettex0 2008-04-26 ch 4,	abusei dont think the relationship is going too fast. actaully im like waiting for them to become friends and him not to be mean to her. but yess good update 1

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