O.O No really. O.O I love it! You're a great writer and I'm sorry I haven't been keeping track of this story...it's great, really great. I hope Shiloh is safe...

This was very good! Sorry for not reading it sooner. I love this story! Although at the end, do you mean 11:06 AM, and not PM? You should change it if you can because 12:00 PM is noon, and 11:06 PM in just before midnight.

Yay, another chapter! The only thing I would fix is the beginning of each chapter. By the time the next chapter is up, I've forgotten everything about the previous one. It helps that you put the last line of the last chapter as the first line of the next chapter, but sometimes it just isn't enough. That's the only problem I find with your story. UPDATE!

Good one. I like the Japanese. You're a really good writer. Keep it up!

i love this story so much, haha, so okay one thing though, they all know japanese. so are they like in japan or america, i mean i need to know a setting of some kind, haha. great chapter though =]

omg, he killed chazz...but dude he's evil that Other is! haha, i loved, can't wait for more

*shudders* It really is a thriller. Poor Chazz. He didn't deserve it at all.

May I ask why Jordan calls Shiloh -sama? I know it's a Japanese honorific, but I don't think they're in Japan...

i really love your story. im a junkie for thrillers, and this is defiantly good. the way his other half just takes him over is creepy, but you have a great story line, hope you update soon :D

what happened to Sunday?
jeesh
~Brittany Cathleen~

Wow! There was a lot of action in this chapter. I was horrified to hear about Jordan's mother. ALthough I'm surious to know what happened to Shiloh. You didn't quite make it clear in what context the Other wanted her: in a sexual way or a murdurous way. Or maybe it was just my AMAZING skills of observation (not).

This story is definitely a thriller. I can't wait for more!

ur welcome
i am awesome
newho
7;23
of course that number is haunting me
im liking it
im glas ur updating soon
i wanna read more
~Brittany Cathleen~

i dont know if i am depressed
or...what
that would suck
multiple personalities
one who loves morbidness
jeesh

This was a good chapter. The second paragraph kind of confused me. You left the 't' off of 'thought'. But other than that, it was good spelling- and grammar-wise.

It lacked a hook though. It ended quietly; there was no release of emotion and there wasn't quite an interesting plot. I'm expecting things to speed up next time.

Hey Fallen. Hmm...the first few paragaphs were a bit confusing for me. It took me a couple tries to see that Shiloh had shocked Jordan out of his memory.

As far as plot goes, it's been done before, but you have a good style, so it wasn't too boring and cliched. Grammar and spelling was pretty much flawless.

I do have a little issue with the names, though. To me, Jordan should be the girl's name, and Shiloh should be the guy's name. But that's just me. I'll get used to it eventually.

I think it's good to point out that if something has a name, then it has much more power over you than if it didn't.

Good job! Update soon.
-cherry