FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| xfail 2008-04-26 ch 1,  | abuseI could not tell from this that you're 12 years old. I didn't have any idea! The repetition suits it and adds to it; it's honest and true and I like it. |
| soliloquium 2008-01-28 ch 1, | abusekay. i really like the simplicity of the poem. and good poems don't have to rhyme. it is, of course, a little... well, coarse, but i loved the meaning.=) what really scares me is that how i can't figure out if you're a guy or a girl from this poem, because i usually do that straighataway. XD later. |
| The Postscript 2008-01-27 ch 1, | abuseI liked it; the message is subtle but a powerful one. Some messages contradict - for example, I'm not sure what you are trying to get at by using early examples of girls whose apperance is static, and then have a final example of a girl whose apperance changes ... But the more prevelant message - that the guy gets a taste of his own medicine, so to say, and learns a lesson ... is very intriguing and powerful. Don't take this review for more than what it is ... I'm simply thinking aloud and suggesting some things for you to think about as well. Overall this was wonderfully written - simple and well-rounded (and convincing too). Because you *almost* begin to agree with the guy; "It was too easy to break." You *almost* leave the reader thinking, "hey, maybe I should toughen up a little bit." But at the end you show that the heart is naturally fragile, but that's ok ... it doesn't have to be a sign of weakness. I really like that message. Well I think I've rambled on long enough ... nice write & keep writing. Best wishes to you, k. |