I like it so far...
I kind of didn't understand it at first because of the hidden message... sometimes you have to re-read poems more then once to realise what it's saying.
It speaks the truth because the songs on the radio are classic love songs or love songs that go wrong, which get overplayed and then bam, it's forgotten.
Overall, good job! (:

First stanza: easily understood. It's a bit simple and without very much imagery - I would suggest, to make it a more poignant stanza, using the man's senses: what does he hear, smell, feel, et cetera. I know it's old advice and you've heard it before, but that's just a reminder. :)

Second stanza: I'm interpreting it as: silence and fear mean to save the lives. Is that what you were getting at? If so, I think you need to clarify HOW they mean to do this. If you mean the MAN means to save the lives, that needs to be clarified, as well. I like the former idea, though; it's original.

Third stanza: "Killings" are all around me... hmm. Weird syntax. This whole stanza feels very "done before." I would suggest, instead of using this concept of "only the strong survive," I would show the reader the weak dying and the strong surviving, not just tell them that it's so. It'll make for a more powerful poem.

Fourth stanza: You never really showed us how the man fought for freedom, to be honest. I don't feel like I fought in a war, and that's how a reader should feel after they've read a poem like this - like they've felt the man's pain at seeing his comrades dying, and the physical, arduous hardships...

Good start. It has potential, definitely. :)

~Effervescent-Sentiments

For Chapter 5 of It's all so redundant: Your poem encompasses a lot of possible interpretations. I like that. You opened your readers to a whole range of possibilities. This poem revealed human nature but not enough for it to be openly emotional. You distanced your persona from emotions. That made your persona effective in relation to your theme. Lastly, you chose precise words that made your poem easy to picture out. Good job! I had fun reading this. :)

I liked the contemplative tone to this. It makes the reader sit back and ponder their own life experiences.

Good use of repetition and form.

My only suggestion would be to change "lay" in the last stanza to "lies."

Overall though, I liked the beautifual imagery and dream-like tone.

Oh, I love the imagery you created with this. And the word choice. Oh, the word choice.

Especially in that first line.

"Set me to freedom
Take away all that I know
Let me die in peace."

Perfect.

The formatting was another good thing about this. This wasn't the type of poem where you just mash everything together. You had to take time and separate it to give that overall effect. Nice job.

i really like the first stanza, especially the last part about the nightmares, it's worded pretty cooly =]

however, on the second and third stanza, i don't realy see how the bottom part of each stanza fits in with the top part...could just be me, but it doesn't make as much sense as the first and third stanza do

All of your peotry has unique writing styles and this one is no different. I like this the most about your poem here. At first glance it truly is confusing. The old english adds to the beauty of it I must admit.

I like that it seems like the person that the poet is "leaving" seems to be a mystery. Nothing is seen in daylight, yet when they reveal their heart at night, shouldn't it be barely visible?

It reminds me somewhat of a night time fling... A woman on the side that the writer is finally letting go. Someone who you don't see during the day, but you'd sneak around with at night... I most likely am truly wrong with my assumptions, but it's a great thing to have poetry that can emit multiple meanings out of confusion. I like poems like that as well.

Man... That's deep. As the years go by, songs do become more and more redundant. My gf understands how listening to songs on the radio are easier than taking in the breath of true experiences... Good job.

I like this. It' kindof leaves a hollow feeling, but in a good way. I like the "thy" and peasant metaphor because it adds a depth some poetry lacks. I would like this better if you made this longer, because I don't really get the whole picture of this poem.

Ok, so...I had absolutely loved your first two chapters...I'm not too convinced on this one. The structure throws me off a little bit because i have to go far away from one side to the other to read the second stanza. I like the last stanza and the sense of ticking time, but overall it didnt grab me as it could have. I know you have it in you :)

Keep up the great work and you'll find your freedom :D

I love this lol I always hear those songs in the radio! lol I love your "tempo." It flows nicely. I love the line "It's just another hit that's gonna be forgotten" I think that line not only applies to the songs but to people themselves.

I think this review doesnt work for the review game...there's nothing I dislike...lol sorry about that!

But thank you for sharing! :D

so sad :(
so beautiful.
love the use of "old' English.
my favorite part: "Merely a plow in the depths of hate"

Review Game!

I like the connection to the title of your collection here, because I was wondering a little what the connection was. I'm a little torn on the repetition of "Do you hear that song on the radio?" because on the one hand I can see how that would be connected to the redundancy theme, but on the other hand it is a little repetitive...

Review Game!

I like that we don't really know who the speaker is because it forces us to put ourselves in that place, and sort of come up with our own idea. I did have a problem with the formatting, because I didn't really get why you had one stanza/haiku centered, while the other two weren't. Also, your title is misspelled. I think these are minor quibbles, though.

"To Freedom" is difficult to review because it leaves the reader cold.

Poetry and prose require images and characters.

The reader needs to empathize with a character: give him a person he can relate to. That's not here.

Neither is any image. I can't _see_ anything when I read this, so I don't know how to relate to it. There is no place or time...Only vague words clustered together like snap beads.

What I like best in "To Freedom" may not mean much to you, but it is your adherence to meter. The beat of the poem certainly holds up.

Next time try to include a person and a place, and use some of your five sentences. If you do, I predict before long you'll start getting really strongly favorable reviews.


Luck.